“Please forgive me; I’m demilingual.”

JP Morgan Office Manager: Do he know he have a meeting? Her said he have a meeting.

38 W. 75^th Street
New York, NY

Posted on May 16, 2023
Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Meetings, New York, Questions, Words

But Can You Manage It?

Boss, interrupting serious discussion on Risk Management: I’m feeling frisky!

Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on May 15, 2023
Bosses, Feelings, Georgia

If he could impregnate you electronically, he would have.

Indian man on voice mail: Hello, my name is Joe*. I am calling for my friend Alan Warren*. This is for Susan*. Please give Alan a call. He would like you to be the mother of his children.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on May 15, 2023
Default

I’d Rather My Wife Didn’t Understand Me

Opinionated coworker: My wife’s mad at me because I think she’s an idiot.

Main Street and Grant Avenue
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on May 14, 2023
Coworkers, Gossip, Ohio

Well, Why Are We Giving a Presentation on Kierkegaard, Anyway?

Project manager, regarding principal of firm: He has been driving around with his windshield wipers on because he can’t figure out how to turn them off, do you really think he will understand this?

98^th & Broadway
New York City, New York

Posted on May 14, 2023
Bosses, General Idiocy, New York, Questions, Technology

Damn Drug Tests Spoil All Our Happy Times

Staff member: I love baklava. Have you ever had the vegan baklava? It’s so good!
Grad student: I don’t think I’ve had vegan anything.
Staff member: I think it’s made from hemp or something. I wonder if it’s okay to eat it and then come to work.
Grad student: I don’t know.
Staff member, pretending to be high: You’d be like, “Woooah! Heeeey!“
Grad student, joining in: Woooooaaaaahhh!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: How do these people make it through college?

Posted on May 13, 2023
Employees, Maryland, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Students, Substance Use & Abuse

Do I Know How to Get Girls Hot, or What?

Comics editor: I already got consent, now all I need to do is find a gas station.

Austin, Texas

Posted on May 13, 2023
Sexuality, Texas, Weirdness, Writers and Editors

I Work Here?

Lauren*: So I went on this diet and I was eating cream of mushroom soup. And I thought, “wow, this is awfully thick. It’s like pudding!” Then I realized you’re supposed to put water in it.
Boss: Jesus Christ, Lauren*!
Lauren*: I know, right?
Boss: Why did we hire you again?

Fontana, California

Overheard by: Aeirlys