Employee #1: I don’t believe in God. I believe in ghosts, but not God.
Employee #2: What about aliens?
Employee #1: Oh, totally!
Boss: Don’t you guys have something more important to be doing?
Employee #2: I have about 1,000 other things to do. None of them is more important than this.
2223 East Speedway
Tucson, Arizona
Co-worker #1: Well do you want to eat these peeps or not?
Co-worker #2: Hell no… They are hella stale
Co-worker #1: Well. okay. I guess we’ll just have to set them on fire.
50 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
- Posted on
- Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Ohio, Questions
IT guy sneezes several times.
IT guy: I think I’m allergic to the flowers on this screen.
Nearby blonde: Really? You can change the screen saver if you want.
Paddington Street, Paddington
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Jane Kenny
- Posted on
- Australia, Bimbettes, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Tech People, Words
Supervisor: I need to know the circulation of this piece.
Underling: I put it on the job request.
Supervisor: No, not how many people it’s going to…
Underlings: Uh….
Supervisor: Oh, yeah, it’s on there. Never mind.
401 Southwest 7th
Des Moines, Iowa
- Posted on
- Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Iowa
Co-worker #1: Have you seen [Amy]?
Secretary: Not in the past several minutes.
Co-worker #1: I hope she hurries up. I have to study for a test and my boss is breathing down my neck.
Co-worker #2: Hey! How are you?
Co-worker #1: I’d be better if [Amy] would hurry up and get here. I have a boss waiting on me and stuff I have to do.
Elevator dings. All look expectantly toward elevator, hoping to see [Amy]. Someone else comes out.
All in unison, disappointedly: Awww.
Paranoid co-worker #3: What? What did I do?
401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee
- Posted on
- Coworkers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Tennessee
Man on cell: You’re just a social maggot. [Sweetly] Just a social magnet, that’s what I meant to say.
2 Clock Tower Place
Maynard, Massachusetts
- Posted on
- Insults, Metro Northeast, On the phone
Designer: Do you ever wonder if some of the girls here were hired for their looks? Oh, I’m not talking about you — I know you were hired because you’re a good writer.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Co-worker: My nickname at work is Blondie. For some reason, everywhere I work my nickname ends up being Blondie. And I don’t even tell them that was my nickname before!
193 Maple Avenue
North Plainfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: Megan
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Insults, New Jersey
Co-worker #1, speaking loudly on headset phone: Well, yeah, I can totally relate to backlog problems! I mean during that refi boom we were just wall to wall with boxes full of papers. We were up to our necks in papers! If the fire marshal would’ve come in here, I’m pretty positive that he would’ve shut us down!
Co-worker #2: Should he really be saying that to our vendors?
Co-worker #3: Well, if we ever get closed down due to our vendors calling the fire department on us, at least we’ll know who to thank for the days off.
1350 Deming Way
Middleton, Wisconsin
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Gossip, Health & Hygiene, Midwest, On the phone, Wisconsin
Employee #1: Ugh! I hate it when [Allison] brings her bratty kid to work.
Employee #2: [Allison] knows he is a brat. He turned her into a coyote mother.
Employee #1: What?!
Employee #2: A coyote mother is when you gnaw your own ovaries off so you can’t have more brats.
Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
