Girl: I’m going to the store. Do you want anything?
Guy #1: Yeah, can you get me a Dr. Brown’s black cherry soda?
Girl: Ok.
Guy #1, holding out cash: Here.
Girl: What’s that?
Guy #2: It’s called money. What? It’s been so long since you seen it, you don’t recognize it! Damn, next time hand her some post-it notes and let her be on her merry way!

250 West 30th Street
New York, New York

Manager: How are we supposed to get any work done if all of our developers keep getting sucked off?

4740 44th Avenue SW
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: g-man

Credit manager: Anyone need some glasses?
Coworker: What kind of glasses?
Credit manager: Drinking glasses, water glasses. I have four and I’m not going to use them.
Coworker: Where’d ya get the glasses from?
Credit manager: I stole them from the hotel I was at last week
Coworker: You can’t go around stealing stuff from hotels.
Credit manager: That’s what my wife tells me, which is why I need to get rid of them before she finds out. Maybe I’ll just put them in the break room.

142 Grand Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa

Boss talking to client and client’s son in front office: So this is your youngest boy, isn’t it? I’ve met him before.
Client: Uh… I don’t think you have.
Boss: Yeah, I’m sure I have…. He’s Down’s Syndrome, isn’t he?
Client: No

98 Fitzroy Street
Grafton, Australia

Overheard by: gus shanks

Partner: I was the youngest licensed hypnotist in New York.

312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio

Chief accountant on phone: No, this is not a business. This is the U.S. government.

1660 S Columbian Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Rogue Peanut

Employee is showing off her new belly-dancing outfit.

Supervisor: So, you’re really going to belly-dance in public?
Employee: Yeah!
Supervisor: I never really liked going to strip clubs when I was younger.

150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut

Overheard by: I love this place!

Telemarketing lady: There’ll be no laughing in this office. That’s right, no levitation.

121 Monmouth Street
Red Bank, NJ

Overheard by: Heidi Schwartz

Two real estate agents are returning from lunch.

Experienced agent: You’re never going to make any money if you keep getting drunk like this.

73 West 19th Street
New York, New York

Web designer on phone: It says “new as of date.” What does “as of” mean?

1800 Ninth Avenue
Seattle, Washington