Worker: So the Christmas party is mandatory?
Boss: Of course not, but if you don’t show you’ll probably be ostracized.
Worker: …And I have to sign a waiver to drink?
Boss: Do you think a company of lawyers would let everyone drink, then drive, and not cover their asses?
962 Coronado Boulevard
Universal City, Texas
- Posted on October 22, 2023
- Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Gossip, Office Politics, Questions, Substance Use & Abuse, Texas
VP: There is only so much you can do with one hand.
Co-worker: I’m not going to touch that.
910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas
- Posted on October 22, 2023
- Body Parts, Comebacks, Coworkers, Executives, Sexuality, Texas, Words
Assistant Building Emergency Coordinator: Why don’t we have the security officers make the evacuation announcements? They are located next to the building PA system.
Manager: I am not sure they are qualified and capable of using the microphone to make announcements.
600 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
- Posted on October 20, 2023
- Advice, Bosses and Underlings, California, General Idiocy
Head of sales: You came to this meeting on Monday morning and you know I’m going to be asking questions. So even if you don’t know the answers, make some shit up. You’re in sales, you have to sell, so make shit up!
1515 Broadway
New York, NY
- Posted on October 20, 2023
- Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, New York, Sales
Accountant on speaker: Okay, I tried entering my password and it didn’t work.
Tech: I reset it to “password.”
Accountant on speaker: Okay, let me try my password again.
Tech: Make sure you type “password.”
Accountant on speaker: It didn’t work again.
Tech: Iou typed far too many letters for the word “password.” Did you type in “password” as your password?
Accountant on speaker: Yu never told me to do that.
Tech: So what part of my sentance confused you: “Type in the word
‘password’ when it asks you for your password”, or “I reset it for you, your password is now ‘password.'”
Accountant on speaker: I have a CPA, don’t talk to me like that.
Tech: I can make up acronyms too. I’ll be in your office in five
minutes. In the meantime, ponder this one: I’m OMGWTF certified.
220 Woodbine Road
Downingtown, Pennsylvania
- Posted on October 19, 2023
- Comebacks, Financial Folk, General Idiocy, Gripes, Pennsylvania, Tech People, Technology, Words
Worker: Dude, come look at my cubicle.
Manager: You mean you weren’t working?
Worker: No, I had to decorate.
1700 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
- Posted on October 18, 2023
- Arts, Bosses and Underlings, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Time Management
Boss: So with his experience, he will help us ferret those waters.
930 South Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana
- Posted on October 18, 2023
- Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Indiana, Words
Analyst #1: I hate going into that lunchroom when the people from claims are in there having a potluck.
Analyst #2: I know, it’s like the bar scene in Star Wars.
4645 East Cotton Center Bouelvard
Phoenix, Arizona
Worker: Someone left puke in the toilet. I swear, bulimia should be illegal.
1000 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon
