By French Standards, He Got an Obsequiously Polite Person on the Phone

Employee on phone with a French company: I’m sorry that you’re offended that I don’t speak French, sir…Well, I don’t know what to tell you. I speak English and Korean; I just don’t speak French. We have a great offer here. I think you’d like to hear about it, even in English…Well, if you’d like I can speak to you with what French I do know but I’m afraid it will only be “hello” and “yes” or “no.”…I’m sorry that you think my lack of French represents what’s wrong with America in general…

61 Broadway
New York, New York

12PM Contact Locksmith

Employee #1: Our VP of Operations locked himself out of his office. He hasn’t been able to get in for about an hour now.
Employee #2: Nobody has a spare key?
Employee #1: Nope, and the tool box that we keep here to help in these kinds of situations is locked in his office too.

650 Technology Park
Lake Mary, Florida

2PM Back from Site Visit

Sales guy: How’d the trip go?
IT guy: Went pretty well. Almost had to send your branch manager home though.
Sales guy: Ha, why?
IT guy: After we loaded up all the inventory in an Excel spreadsheet, he kept sorting it wrong. He’d sort just one column. It would scramble the whole thing up and we’d have to delete it and start all over. He did that three times before I banned him from Excel.
Sales guy: You banned him?
IT guy: I banned him.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina