Girl: So Friday’s your last day?
Guy: Yeah, I’ll be working closer to home. I have an hour long drive to get here from my house.
Girl: Good thing you’ll be working closer to home. Traffic will suck your soul.

800 South Douglas Road
Coral Gables, Florida

Tech on phone: Okay, go ahead and type in your password…Yep, just type it in…In the password field…Just type it…With your keyboard…Should be right in front of you… Has letters on it…Great!

3601 SW Murray Boulevard
Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: onebadwebmonkey

Employee #1: Wearing the pinstripe today, eh? Real banker-like.
Manager: Yeah, makes me work harder. But you should see me at 4:30. I’ll be wearing jeans and a sweatshirt and working the park.
Employee #1: Pardon?
Manager: I’ll be selling hot chocolate.
Employee #2: Is that your name there or the product you’ll be selling?

3 King Street S
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: SAM BRUNTON-LEWIS

Designer: So I took the dead cat by the tail and chucked it over the fence and I thought, “Man. If the people at work could only see what a bumpkin I am.”

312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio

Candidate: Do you have a listing of job openings?
HR Secretary: Yes, there is a list on the blue piece of paper on the table.
Candidate: Which one?
HR Secretary: The blue piece of paper.
Candidate: This one?
HR Secretary: Yes.
Candidate: I’m not qualified for any of these. Do you have any other positions open?
HR Secretary: Did you turn it over? There are more job listings on the back.
Candidate: Oh.

155 Deer Hill Avenue
Danbury, Connecticut

Co-worker #1: I can’t believe that they fired that temp.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, he wasn’t working very hard and he was goofing off.
Co-worker #1: That’s not very fair. By the way, do you have the new football pool sheet? I lost mine.

4950 College Boulevard
Leawood, Kansas

Overheard by: Ron Zinn

Worker #1: That guy really gets on my nerves with his whistling.
Worker #2: Hey [Bryan]! Whistle from where I fucked you last.

21100 Rogers Drive
Rogers, Minnesota

Co-worker #1: Oh, you look nice. Are you going somewhere?
Co-worker #2: No, I just never went home last night.

2105 Bancroft Way
Berkeley, California

Web Developer: Nobody ever made money off the internet with a business model that required two hands!

845 High Street
Palo Alto, California

Underling: What do you think about the new price increase?
Team leader: I think; that’s all I know.

1070 Technology Drive
Venice, Florida