9AM Back to Work

Boss: I sent you an email.
Assistant: Oh, thanks.
Pause
Boss: You going to read it?
Assistant: No, I don’t do emails anymore. I gave that up.
Boss: Hmmm…. I like that. “I don’t do emails anymore”. I like that. I’m going to go with it.
Assistant: Yeah, it’s working for me so far.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

12PM Admin Interviews

Flunky #1: She’s trying to hire a secretary. She said she wants someone to get here early in the morning and unlock her office door before she gets here, so she’ll be able to just walk in.
Flunky #2: So…who’s going to wipe her ass?

525 East 68th Street
New York, NY

Jared's dirty little secret.

Large male supervisor: Look at you, skinny!
Female supervisor: What? Scan me?
Large male supervisor: No, skinny.
Manager: What's going on here?
Female supervisor: Oh, nothing. Just the 30 pounds that I lost.
Large male supervisor: I've got to get me some of that. How'd you do it?
Female supervisor: Morphine.

Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon