Admin assistant: I hear that Jay-Z and Beyoncé actually have an open relationship.
India-Indian boss: Well, it is no surprise since she does not want to get married.
Admin assistant: I guess you’re right.
India-Indian boss: I mean, why buy the milk when that cow is just outside?
685 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
- Posted on
- Admins, Dumb Bosses, New York, Philosophy
Female grunt #1 looking around: Ramone* has them.
Female grunt #2, holding plastic jacks in hand: Has what?
Female grunt #1: My balls. Ramone has my balls.
19th Street and Deer Valley Road
Arizona
- Posted on
- Arizona, Coworkers, Possible Sexual Harassment
Slutty coworker: Oh, I just joined the most fantastic group in MySpace, XYZ Friends*. It’s incredible. You don’t even have to look for men — you just join and men fly all over you.
Snarky coworker: You flaming parakeet.
São Paulo
Brazil
- Posted on
- Brazil, Coworkers, Technology
Grunt #1: Shit, the bombs aren’t in the bags.
Grunt #2: Awww, fuck it. Let’s go get a hamburger.
New York, New York
Overheard by: Thrax
- Posted on
- Coworkers, New York, Time Management
Worker bee: Oh my god! I’m so excited, I’m gonna pee on the carpet! I got the e-mail about that 11-thousand-dollar deal! [Stands up up and lifts leg] Psss… Psss… Look at me! I’m the cat! I’m peeing on the carpet!
Nashville, Tennessee
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Tennessee
Lady customer: I need a phone that’ll work all year — all three hundred sixty-two days.
Electronics store
California
Overheard by: Stephen
- Posted on
- California, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy
Crazy woman at front desk: I will not be a slave to my teeth!
1685 Main Street
Santa Monica, California
- Posted on
- California, Dumb Customers, Gripes
Account manager: Um, it’s called the UK. Sometimes it’s a country, and sometimes it’s not.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: When is it not?
- Posted on
- Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Washington DC
Editor to coworker whose loud text alert goes off in meeting: Matt*, when your crotch cries out, we all stop and take notice.
Bay Avenue
Stafford, New Jersey
Overheard by: inothernews
- Posted on
- Coworkers, New Jersey, Possible Sexual Harassment, Technology
Secretary: Does it involve undergarments? If so, I’m not there.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Meetings, Pennsylvania
