Let Me Just Set Up the Webcam

Paralegal: So, should I go ahead and do a dump on the computer?

Seneca Meadows Parkway
Germantown, Maryland

This Conversation Could Be the Beginning Of a Beautiful Friendship.

PA #1: I have a thing for military sci-fi.
PA #2: I mean, who doesn’t?
(later)
PA #1: Predator is a classic. It’s like Casablanca.

Manhattan, New York

Dear Diary, If I Can Just Drink Less at Lunch, She Will Be Mine

Contracts officer: Frankly, I think she’ll be tickled shitless…I could have said she’d be shittled titless, but I thought that would be offensive.
HR lady: This meeting has now offically gone on too long.

1010 North Glebe Road
Arlington, Virginia

I Myself Am a Pepperoni-American

Professor: America is a melting pot.
Dude: America is not a melting pot… It’s more of a Lunchable. We are all in the same place, but we keep to our own little compartments.

1906 College Heights Boulevard
Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: hyacinth_hunter

Sadly, Brad Never Graduated from the Simulator

Dude: Are you looking at pictures of naked women again?
Man: What kind of stupid question is that?
Dude: Yeah, sorry.
Man: Why don’t you ask me what I’m breathing? ‘Breathing some air there, huh? Boy, you sure do like your air.‘
Dude: Yeah, I know, sorry. Hey — that one’s pretty.
Man: Tell me about it.

Starbucks
New York, New York