Supervising Editor: That’s why I hate bananas. They’re just too unpredictable.

2 Penn Plaza
New York, NY

Hospitality Director: It’s really a customer service issue. I mean, a customer could come in and their boss has gone down on them and a smile could really pick them up.

1515 Sheridan Road NE
Atlanta, Georgia

Boss on phone: If I ever do something that dumb again I want you to hit me. Hit me like a woman!

1621 18th Street
Denver, Colorado

Peon #1: Why is Laura gone already?
Peon #2: She had some medical stuff done today, I believe through the rectum, so she went home.

1441 West Long Lake Road
Troy, Michigan

Co-worker: Where the fuck are the urinals?
Stall: Wrong bathroom, buddy.

1055 North Cruise Boulevard
Port of Miami, Florida

Overheard by: WordPower

Clerk: Why is there a wet floor sign on the carpet?
Supervisor: Sometimes I get excited.
Clerk: I miss working with you. You always know just what to say.

1201 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jessica Kalup

Admin: Some angry guys are going to come in the office looking for one of the executives. They may threaten you and yell at you but just tell them to go away. Whatever you do, don’t bother us with it.
Receptionist: Okay, while I’m up here fighting for my life, I’ll be sure not to bother you all.

817 West Peachtree Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Elle George

Division Manager: I hate it when logic happens.

1930 Bishop Lane
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Doug Whitworth

Editor #1: Should we tell the author we lost that whole section of the manuscript?
Editor #2: No, let’s not announce that we’re incompetent.
Editor #1: Yeah, let’s let it be a surprise.

8700 Shoal Creek Boulevard
Austin, Texas

Co-worker #1: Oh, you have some good supplies. Anything I can steal?
Co-worker #2: Uh, you can have some markers.
Co-worker #1: No, that’s okay; I’ve got markers up the ass.

633 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois