Priest: … And, as always, during the collection– Is there anyone to do the collection? Lock the doors — nobody gets out.
2026 Guadalupe Street
Austin, Texas
Trendy vegan worker: What’s that smell? Is someone cooking bacon?
Coworker: There’s some in my salad.
Trendy vegan worker: That’s so odd. I never even liked bacon, but it smells so good! It’s making me horny!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Minnesota
Peon: Uh, Jim*, do you have anywhere I can put a floppy dick? … Uh… Disk?
Jim: Niiice.
Garden City, New York
Overheard by: defragment my hard-drive
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment
Coworker: Does any other Daves work here?
Dave: No. Except for Dave.
Book store
Southlake, Texas
Overheard by: We also have three Ashleys, three Michaels and two Clints!
- Posted on
- Coworkers, General Idiocy, Texas
Serious suit on cell: If he does that then he’s going to have to give up the hookers and drugs, and I am not kidding.
San Jacinto Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Going Into Politics?
Cashier to friend: One morning I woke up sober…
Clothing store
Houston Street
New York, New York
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, Gossip, New York
Manager: At this point we’re only hiring servers who I know will do a really great job.
Waitress #1, with a wink: That’s why I was hired, right? ‘Cause you knew I’d do an awesome job?
Manager: Yes.
Waitress #2: I think I was hired because the regional manager liked me.
Manager: No, you were hired because the restaurant had just opened and we would have hired anybody.
Peppers Ferry Road
Christiansburg, Virginia
- Posted on
- Bosses and Underlings, Insults, Virginia
Cube dweller: The ranch is very weird today. Not weird-bad, but weird-tangy. It’s like they put some extra zest in it. [Later] Maybe that ranch wasn’t tangy so much as… gone bad.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
- Posted on
- California, Dumb Employees, Meals and Snacks
Director: I guess he was too busy measuring gonads. That’s what he does — measures gonads.
11 West Jones Street
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: How big are they?
- Posted on
- Consultants, Gossip, North Carolina
Worker bee: In a perfect world everyone should smell like pizza.
Hemel Hempstead
UK
Overheard by: I’d prefer fresh-cut grass
- Posted on
- Coworkers, General Idiocy, UK
