Secretary: Hey [Manny], I see you! I see you! I have implants,so I can see everything.

University of Richmond Special Programs Building
Richmond, Virginia

Consultant #1: Where is [Jeff]?
Consultant #2: He’s not in my cubicle. That leaves the rest of the universe for you to search.
Consultant #1: Is he at lunch?
Consultant #2: If you’re going to start looking, do it now. The universe closes at 5.

250 Broadway
New York, NY

Employee: Do you always have to act like a child?
Manager: This company is all about innovation. And studies have consistently shown that the most innovative thought comes from the ages of five and under.

31601 Pacific Hwy South
Federal Way, Washington

Director: Thanks for all your help on that project.
Peon: No problem…It’s not like I had a choice.

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Manager: It would be misleading of me to tell you that there was any hope of you having a job.

1919 Swift Drive
Oak Brook, Illinois

VP:I swear to God, the assistant at [DouglasCo] is so stupid.
Admin: Hey, even stupid people need jobs.
Coworker: Yeah. Some of them even make it to VP.

388 Greenwich Street
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: Hey, we get off for February 20th, too.
Co-worker #2: Oh, for President’s Day? Wait, when is Independence Day? That’s in the summer, right?
Co-worker #1: Uh, yeah, that’s July 4th.

175 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Peter H

CIO: So, we’re okay now?
Manager: No, we still have problems, but they’re higher quality problems.

5000 Ellin Road
Lanham, Maryland

Overheard by: Cantabile

Accountant: Could you call and get someone to come and service our coffee machine?
Receptionist: Sure! What’s going on with it?
Accountant: The hot water tap just tastes like regular tap water.

1625 North Palafox Street
Pensacola, Florida

Marketing: Oh my god, I don’t know what is going on with this, but I swear, I had to look up so many big words while I was doing this thing; Like…”ire“? “Emu“? What the hell are these?

421 NW Riverside Drive
Evansville, Indiana