But Ass Prostheses Are the Wave of the Future

Girl #1: Oh my god! You are such a slut!
Girl #2: I am not a slut!
Girl #3: It’s true, she’s not a slut. She’s just a fake-ass ho.
Girl #1: Yeah, you’re such a fake-ass ho.
Girl #2: Yeah, true.

1310 Sycamore Street
Cincinnati, Ohio

2PM Layoff Announcements

Exec: Nobody walks around in culottes unless there’s something important going on.

150 5^th Avenue
New York, NY

There’s Proactive, and There’s This

Boss: So, uh, essentially, this meeting is about a meeting we’re going to have. Sometime.

375 Hudson Street
New York, NY

Why Do You Think We Hired Her?

Female account exec #1: How do you pronounce Leslie’s* last name?
Female account exec #2: “Scrotum?“
Female account exec #1: “Screwum?“
Female account exec #2: I guess there’s a lot of bad ways you can pronounce her name.

New York City, New York

Creativity? I’m an Engineer

Male coworker: I would take Beyoncé’s face, Beyoncé’s legs, Beyoncé’s arms, Beyoncé’s body, and Beyoncé’s ass and put them all together to make my dream woman… And I’d name her Beyoncé.

4510 Maplecrest Road
Fort Wayne, Indiana

Overheard by: Bk-Bitch

The Code Remains Unbroken

Dumb girl: Why do they call it ‘Chicken Cordon Bleu’?
Dumb guy: Uh, duh! Cor-don-bleu… It means ‘ham-and-cheese’!

Rockford, Illinois

You Have to Be Able to Engineer As Directed

Engineer: I have a college degree in engineering. I know about these things.
Line lead: Well, I’ve got a big dick… That doesn’t make me a porn star! [Engineer leaves.]

Boat factory
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: i dont want to see that movie