Overheard In The Office

12PM Lunch

Cowork­er: Who won the World Cup game?
Su­per­vi­sor: Ghana beat the U.S.
Cowork­er: Aw, I want­ed the U.S. to win!
Su­per­vi­sor: Why? The U.S. wins every­thing. That’s why we have the Olympics.

1145 East 4th Street
Tuc­son, Ari­zona

Over­heard by: Rasputin

I Won­dered What James Stock­dale Was Up To These Days

Op­er­a­tor: Thank you for call­ing Bayshore Med­ical In­sur­ance*; how can I as­sist?
Caller: So who are you?
Op­er­a­tor: We’re an in­sur­ance com­pa­ny.
Caller: And what do you do?
Op­er­a­tor: We help you with your in­sur­ance.
Caller: I don’t un­der­stand.
Op­er­a­tor: Well, your boss gives you ben­e­fits for work­ing there, and our job is to help you use your ben­e­fits.
Caller: I don’t have any ben­e­fits! I nev­er signed up for this! Did my boss tell you to call me? Is he try­ing to set me up? Who told you to call me?
Op­er­a­tor: Sir, you called me.

Mar­ket Street
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: The Man

And I Wrote for SNL Dur­ing Those Crap­py Years

Cowork­er #1: Hey, can you down­load this script for me: ‘I’m in Hell.‘
Cowork­er #2: Oh my god, what hap­pened? You were fine just a sec­ond ago! What’s that script you want called?
Cowork­er #1: ‘I’m in Hell,’ and I’m fine.
Cowork­er #2: That’s weird, hav­ing a script called ‘I’m fine’ when you’re in Hell.
Cowork­er #1: No, not ‘I’m fine’ — ‘I’m in Hell.‘
Cowork­er #2: Se­ri­ous­ly? What’s go­ing on?!
Cowork­er #1: The script is ‘I’m in Hell.’ And I’m fine.
Cowork­er #2: Wait, what?
Cowork­er #1: [Sighs.]Boss: This is lamest edi­tion of ‘Who’s on first?’ I’ve ever heard.

Van­cou­ver, British Co­lum­bia
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Of­fice Ears