Co-worker: Can I move your long lovely legs and get some out of your drawers?
Co-worker: Do you ever have one of those days where you’re desperate to have something in your mouth?
Co-worker: I like sucking the mint out of the chocolate of Junior Mints…Don’t hate the skills!
750 First Street NE
Washington, DC
Young office lady to another: What's that French term for you felt like you've been here before? (pause) Menage a troi?
Calgary
Canadia
Very Republican coworker: I have more guns than I know what to do with.
Golden Valley
Minnesota
Younger man: I gotta do something. I can't keep waiting around for my uncle to die, but I don't want to kill him.
Older lady: You're talking too loud, people can hear you.
Younger man: Kill him with kindness… ain't that the Christian thing to do?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Coworker on phone: I wish people in prison had access to Facebook.
Pensacola Beach, Florida
Receptionist: … And what start are you calling from?"
*puts caller on hold and yells: "who has new hampshire?"
Co-worker: "I do."
Receptionist: "well, what state is new hampshire in?"
Alabama Street, Indianapolis
Senior broker to associate broker: I am drowning in my own snot.
47th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: CaseyMarie
Male coworker to Helen: I shaved, Helen.
Helen: I thought we were going to keep that a secret.
Houston, Texas
Techie #1: You know what’s better than eating girl scout cookies?
Techie #2: Eating girl scouts?
Techie #1: Um, I was going to say, “eating girl scout cookies with milk”.
Techie #2: Yeah, that’s pretty good too.
Techie #1: You’re a fucking sicko.
1 Wall Street
Madison, Connecticut
Overheard by: ^chi^
Office guy on phone: We were at this park, and there were gators and alligators… I'm guessing the gators are native to thigh-land.
Middleboro, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mikey