Office drone to receptionist: Debbie asked me to make sure her wieners didn't get too hot, and that meant I had to touch them!
Denver, Colorado
Which Is What People Have Come to Expect from “Toys R' Butts”
Coworker #1: What is wrong with this web page?
Coworker #2: Nothing, it's just ass and toys.
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Coincidence?
College recruiter: I don't feel like I drink too much, but I certainly feel like I get hungover too often.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: i feel that.
How Do You Think I Got This Job?
Producer, on phone: I don’t know how to make this more clear: Eat the bugs! You have to eat the bugs! Open your mouth, plug your nose, and shove the bugs in your mouth!
6727 Odessa Avenue
Van Nuys, California
How She Makes Time for Crafts
Interviewer: Did you make these with your hands?
Teen Girl: Yeah, I made all these with my hands, these and lots of other asexaries.
Yerevan
Armenia
Overheard by: Narek Markarian
Dante's Inferno Was Actually Set in Yonkers
Older lady: The bag can't go through the ass! I'm writing him an e-mail. He's taking this shit back.
Younger lady: Hey, are we allowed to drop the s-bomb on packaging?
Yonkers, New York
Overheard by: Jay B
3PM Smoke Break
Co-worker #1: I really need to do Yoga again.
Co-worker #2: Do you want my Yoga tapes? I don’t do it anymore, because my dog just won’t leave me alone when I’m down on all fours.
57 East Green Street
Champaign, Illinois
It Was the Politest Invasion in the History Of Warfare
Clerk: Do you have an appointment?
Customer: No, I'm Canadian.
Bellingham, Washington
The Law's a Cruel Mistress, Betsy
Female attorney to secretary: Even the three-ways are a pain in the butt.
Asheville, North Carolina
Then I Realize I'm Married, and Reading Them
Woman smoking on loading dock: I get e-mails from him at 3 and 4 am on Saturdays and I think to myself, “if he's married, he must hate his wife.”
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: fly on the wall