20-ish office girl: I am so mad at him! I sent him a Christmas card, but I did not write a note in it.
8th Street
Des Moines, Iowa
Forcing Us to Hire More Temps
Middle-aged manager: Whoa! You're new here!
Young female temp (making copies): Yeah, I just started on Monday, I'm a temp.
Middle-aged manager: Has anyone shown you the dead bodies yet?
Young female temp: Uh, no.
Middle-aged manager: Once the temps realize what creeps we are, they kill us.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: a temp
Or Are You Just Generally Greasy and Salty?
Office chick: You know what the best part of getting McDonald's is? Just when you think you're done, you find five or six bonus fries in the bottom of the bag.
Office dude: It's the simple pleasures for you, huh?
Office chick: Oh yeah, nothing better! Something small and salty to snack on!
Office dude, filled with innuendo: In that case, I have another bonus fry for you to enjoy.
Office chick: Seriously? I think you just admitted to having a small dick.
Figueroa St
Los Angeles, California
11AM Sitdown with HR
Worker #1: Hey, do you have a sec?
Worker #2: Sure, I have lots of secs.
16101 North 82nd Street
Scottsdale, Arizona
…And Maintenance Will Not Want to Deal with It– Trust Me.
Tech guy: All right, yank on that long one there a few times.
Office mate, holding the extension cord: This long one? How hard?
Tech guy: Pretty hard, just give it a few good tugs… wait… Not that hard. If you tug it too much we'll have a big mess on our hands…
Denver Colorado
If You Accidentally Move the Heavens and Make That Happen
Long-haired guitar dude to customer: Sometimes it's because the neck is warped. That can happen if you leave it out in the sun all night.
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: realized it 5 minutes later
It Was Joe Something, Right?
Coworker: Whoever invented coffee was amazing!!
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: thought God did that?
Or Is It Another Tailgate Party?
Customer: What's going on? Why are there a bunch of cop cars outside?
Bank teller: I don't know. (looks at other tellers) Are ya'll getting robbed?
Kleberg Street
Kingsville, Texas
Tonight’s Movie: Sideways
Colleague #1: Hey, that girl — does she have those underwear on the wrong way?
Colleague #2: Yeah. Funny, huh?
Terrell, Texas
Overheard by: HR Rep
When It Gets Wedged Under a Bridge Abutment, Don’t Come Crying to Me
Customer rep: Hey, it’s 112 inches tall. Is that legal?
Truck rep: No.
Customer rep: Well, we’re doing it anyway.
1368 Old Fannin Road, Suite 400
Flowood, Mississippi
Overheard by: the Intern