Admin to another: I just got peed on by a radioactive cat, hold on.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Andy
So You Might Want to Hold Your Nose
Accountant to another: Have I mentioned that I need to depreciate?
Anselmo Lane
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Carlen
The Office Really Hits My 3G Spot
Coworker #1: I bought my first iPhone app while on vacation. It's called Ragdoll Blaster. It's pretty good.
Coworker #2: You bought an app called Rectal Blaster?
Coworker #1: Ah, it's good to be back.
Princeton, New Jersey
That’s Network TV for You
Analyst: The problem, though, is that it’s not child pornography — just the regular kind.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Nah, the Saddle’s Just For This Guy I Sometimes Torture Sexually
Female admin: What were you doing here at 7:40?
Male admin: I was rummaging through your stuff.
Female admin: Find anything of interest? My stuff is pretty boring.
Male admin: Really? I found that riding crop quite interesting.
Female admin: What?! I ride horses!!
Male admin: That would explain the saddle.
80 Grasslands Road
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Vicodin Is the Shizzle
Nurse: Thanks for taking out the trash. I’ve been a nurse for so long I don’t have a sense of smell anymore. You could roll in roadkill and I wouldn’t notice.
15001 Quivira Road
Overland Park, Kansas
Overheard by: Naomi
Certainly Cheaper Than Making the Office Handicap Accessible
Female coworker: If we put a bit of vaseline on it he probably could have slid right in!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: David
She’s Gonna Earn Her Salary Today
Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.
1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama
Without a Quorum No Meeting Can Break Out
Worker bee #1 walking up to group of coworkers: Hey, here’s two of the people I’m looking for.
Worker bee #2: Scatter!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
I'm Starting to Feel Underemployed, Here
Security guard: Brain massage.
Cop: Brain massage? That works?
Security guard: Oh yeah, totally.
Manhattan, New York