Large male peon: Oh, I usually take the stairs. Do you mind if we take the stairs?
Large lady peon: Yeah, no-no-no. That’s absolutely fine. I take the stairs all the time. Absolutely. So long as it isn’t up.
Opperman Drive
Eagan, Minnesota
Overheard by: I’m taking the elevator
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Minnesota
Boss: There’s nothing like walking to put the newspapers behind the circulation desk and looking out towards the front and having the first thing you see be the word ‘penis.’
Library
Richmond, Virginia
- Posted on
- Dumb Bosses, Gripes, Virginia
Boss: Let’s get things set up. Let’s move the mouse.
Bethesda, Maryland
- Posted on
- Dumb Bosses, Maryland, Time Management
Grunt #1: Is that a wine bottle in the front seat of your car?
Grunt #2: Yes. I like to drink on my way to work.
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Maryland, Substance Use & Abuse
Library supervisor: Can you hand me those staplers? I’ve gotta take them back to those who dwell in the rear.
Library
Columbia, South Carolina
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, South Carolina
Office chick: How was your weekend?
Office guy: I got a sunburn! Look, my skin is flaking off! [Rubs his arm.]Office chick: Stop! You’re flaking into my coffee!
San Antonio, Texas
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Texas
IT help desk: Mine are nothing like yours. Yours get so fluffy when I put them in my mouth.
500 Howard Street
San Francisco, California
- Posted on
- California, Possible Sexual Harassment, Tech People
Girl answering phone: Hi.
Guy on speaker: Hey… What are you doing?
Girl: Nothing.
Guy: Don’t e-mail me today.
Girl: Why?
Guy: They are using my computer for a presentation.
Girl: Oh, okay.
Guy: I don’t need them seeing ‘Eff you!’
Girl: Haha, I never put that in the subject line.
Guy: Right… Or ‘I eff-ing hate you… And I’m not joking.’
Girl: Hahaha, I haven’t said that in so long!
Guy: You texted that to me last night.
Girl: Oh. Hahaha. No, I said, ‘You better be dead… And I’m not even joking!’
Law office, Highway 10 and 403
Ontario
Canadia
Suit: When Barry* is out, who should get this report?
Boss: Give it to Barry — he’s in.
Suit: When I asked Susan* I thought she said he wasn’t working today.
Boss: She’s absolutely right. But he is here today.
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
- Posted on
- Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, New Jersey
Salesman: We’re looking for your shorts!
8531 East Marginal Way South
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Lowly Clerk
- Posted on
- Consultants, Time Management, Washington
