Manager to peon: I'm so confused, maybe if I start smoking dope again things will make sense.
Washington
1PM Lunch
Sales #1: There’s lint on your shoulder.
Sales #2: Oh.
Sales #1: Here, I’ll pick it off. Wait, here’s Scotch tape; that works better.
Sales #2: I feel like those monkeys that pick bugs off each other’s heads and backs.
712 South Hacienda Drive
Tempe, Arizona
…We Just Don't Do Most Of It Anymore
Admin #1: Do you have a current picture of the enterprise workflow?
Admin #2: Yeah, but it hasn't been updated.
Admin #1: Well, then it's current.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: kea
Pepperoni Pizza, As I Recall
Worker: The vendor wants to come in to finalize the program we discussed last month. Can you meet with him next week?
Boss: No, I am booked all week. Wasn't he supposed to send some follow up information?
Worker: I don't know, I was eating lunch.
Washington, DC
Or an LCD Screen Television?
Confused coworker: So should I look for a baby girl, or another wife?
Dupont, Washington
Overheard by: Richard
Yeah, Fascism Does Have Its Charms
Teacher: You should all go back in time to where I would walk in the room and you all stand up and say, ‘Hello, Professor M*!’
Student: And women shouldn’t have the right to vote!
Newton, Massachusetts
Why Workplaces Should Have Principals’ Offices
Short woman whispering to self, as tall man holds door for her: Shit. Unbelievable. [Tall man stares at her.]Tall man, to another woman: You know, she did this to me once before. I had to ride the elevator with her muttering to herself about me until another elevator opened across the hall and she ran away into it. [Continues staring at short woman until elevator stops.]Short woman, yelling as exits the elevator: Maybe it’s because you smell!
Other woman: Well, aren’t you a charming thing. [Doors shut.]
330 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Dirty Librarian
…”Which of the Sales Guys Are You Going to Have Intercourse With?”
Benefits & payroll lady: So which of the sales guys are you going to do?
Admin: (awkward silence)
Benefits & payroll lady: Ummm…let me rephrase that…
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: uh i hope none of them
…Wait, No…Insensitivity?
Customer: It smells like incest in here… Wait, no, incense.
Golf Shop
Macon, Georgia
Overheard by: What do pine-scented candles remind you of?
Yeah, but My Head’s Not Full Yet
Office girl #1: I want to start reading more books.
Office girl #2: Didn’t you just read yesterday?
11940 Jollyville Road
Austin, Texas