Employee on phone: You are a psycho if you think you’ll break up with me over the phone!…What am I supposed to say to a psycho?…What am I supposed to say to a psycho?…What am I supposed to say to a psycho?!
Co-Worker: For my sake, you can say goodbye to a psycho!

5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Co-Worker, on phone: When were the children terminated?…Were they terminated here in Tulsa? I’ll need to see a copy of that order.

41st and Mingo
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Receptionist: I thought she was going to tell me I was fat…but, no, she just wanted to tell me that I smell bad.

Andover Park West
Tukwila, Washington

Boss: I found this [correspondence dated a week ago] in my inbox, waiting for my signature. It was Bill Smith’s* estate tax return! Why didn’t you tell me to check my inbox?? There’s all kinds of stuff in there that hasn’t gone out. You have to come up with a way for me to check my inbox more regularly so things like this don’t happen again!
Secretary: Um, ok? Do you want me to set Outlook reminders that you’ll ignore, or would you like to ignore me personally?

900 East Hill Avenue
Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: She’s Not Psychic

Large lady: You know if you are a Goth, they take your children away.
Old lady: That’s not true! I have ten children, and I wear a lot of black clothing.

North Station Commuter Rail
Boston, Massachusetts

Co-Worker: I sent out the class rosters for summer term to all the faculty and got an e-mail back from one guy wanting to know why he can’t find his name on the list. Because it’s the list of his students! How did he get to be a teacher!?

1400 Penn Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: The Temp

Intern: When is Bush’s last term?
Employee: Um, right now. It ends in ’08.
Intern: Good. ‘Cause he’s stupid.

1065 Williams Street
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Is summer over yet?

Manager: Ok, I don’t mean to sound weird, but…
Receptionist #1: Oh, this is gonna be good.
Manager: I was at Starbucks on the 4th of July, and…it was all Asians! It was an Asian invasion! They were everywhere! I was going to ask if they were having a family reunion. Then someone else walked in the door, and [my 14-year-old daughter] nudged me, and it was another Asian! I’ve told [my daughter], “Ok, you can marry a Muslim! A black! A Jew! Just don’t bring home an Asian!” They travel in packs and take pictures! And they are the worst drivers! Any time you see a bad driver swerving, weaving in and out of lanes? Asian! But, I mean, my tennis partner is Asian, so…
Receptionist #1: Becky*, you’re a racist!
Manager: I’m not a racist…just to Asians!

An Asian client walks in.

Receptionist #2: Hi, Mr. Wong*!

4020 NE 55th Street
Seattle, Washington

Woman #1: I saw The Devil Wears Prada this weekend. It was really good, especially Marlon Brando.
Woman #2: Marlon Brando?
Woman #1: You know, that lady! What’s her name?
Woman #2: Meryl Streep. Marlon Brando is dead. And a man.

245 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Co-Worker #1: I was just over at [your new boss]’s office, and the first thing I noticed was that it’s really quiet over there!
Co-Worker #2: Oh, I know.
Co-Worker #1: No, really, you’re going to go crazy! It was almost nine o’clock, and nobody was talking! You’ll have to play yourself some music or something.
Co-Worker #2: Yeah.
Co-Worker #1: So I decided what I’ll do is call you sometimes and just yell over the phone!

Collegeville, Pennsylvania