Geek #1: Yeah, I'm pretty good with the chicks these days.
Geek #2: Oh, yeah? How?
Geek #1: I just walk up to them and be like “how you doiiiinn'” and I got them.
Geek #2: Then why are you always with me?
SUNY
New Paltz, New York
1PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: Let’s go.
Co-worker #2: Can I go to the bathroom first?
Co-worker #1: So go! You have to do it with yours, not with mine!
1250 Broadway
New York, NY
Some Fortune Cookies Get Lost in Translation
Intern: Today is not your year.
3250 Mary Street
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: my today wasn’t so bad
Especially You, Rico
Old drone: I'm not computer suave-y like you all…
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
You Had Us at “Smegma Sandwich”
Cubicle #1: That movie was complete donk.
Cubilce #2: You’re a snob. I thought it was fun, and I loved the Roxanne Tango bit.
Cucible #1: Dude, that movie was a smegma sandwich and fuck anyone who says otherwise.
Cubicle #3: Hear, hear.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: still laughing
You Do?
Manager: I can’t do that to the client! Don’t you see the cart before the horse here? It’s chicken and egg!
VP: Yeah, but if you wanna run with the wolves–
Manager: –It’s lying down with dogs and getting up with fleas!
VP: Yeah, I see your point…
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
She Got Pregnant During a Gang Bang
Co-Worker #1: My sister just had her baby this morning!
Co-Worker #2: How exciting! Wait, who just had a baby last month?
Co-Worker #1: My sister.
Co-Worker #2: The same one?
1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
Wisconsin Enters the Age Of Fire
Boss in meeting room: Enough of the dragon talk, gentlemen.
Madison, Wisconsin
And a Fifth Of Tequila
Customer: How do you guys get to New York? Like, which flights do I have to get on?
Ticket agent: (explains routes, flight numbers, arrival times, etc.)
Customer: Okay. I'd like a ticket to Chicago, please.
Edmonton International Airport
Canadia
Overheard by: Amused Agent
Engineers Often Develop Delusions Of Godhood
Engineer to secretary: I don't want to be accused of misplacing nine years of your life!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: 812