But I Speak a Smattering of Moron

Coworker on phone: No, sir, I am not an idiot.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 30, 2026
Coworkers, Illinois, Insults, Midwest, On the phone, United States

In Totally Unrelated News, My Voodoo Doll Works

Office peon on phone: Hey, you know what? I have even more Earth-shattering news for you. Apparently Paula Abdul broke her nose this weekend trying to step over her Chihuahua!

171 Nepean Street
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: I to the Sac

Posted on June 29, 2026
Canadia, Coworkers, Gossip, On the phone

Nixed Greens

Coworker #1: I am going across the street to get something to eat. Do you ladies want anything?
Coworker #2: Do you want to bring me back a salad?
Coworker #1: Not really… I was just being courteous.

North University and Fletcher Streets
Michigan

Posted on June 29, 2026
Coworkers, Insults, Meals and Snacks

Go to Easy Street and Make a U-Turn

Drone #1: I hate moving. My stuff’s everywhere. I’m living in squalor!
Drone #2: I don’t know where that is.

Glen Lake Drive
Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: sladeripfire

Posted on June 28, 2026
General Idiocy, Midsouth, North Carolina, United States

But First I Want Them to Pay

Young woman: Do you want your patients to die?
Older woman: Well, that would be one approach.

Rochester, New York

Posted on June 28, 2026
Comebacks, Death, Doctors, Health & Hygiene, Medical, New York, Questions

Next Time, Aim Lower Than a Police Car

Woman on phone: What do you mean, you never thought you would get caught in a stolen car?!

Columbia Business Park
Columbia, South Carolina

Posted on June 27, 2026
Crimes, On the phone, South Carolina, Southeast, United States

“Real” Means Different Things to Different People

Trekkie coworker: Dude, at the convention they had light sabers for sale for two hundred dollars.
Bored coworker: So?
Trekkie coworker: They were just plastic, they weren’t even real!

County Road 427
Auburn, Indiana

Overheard by: Doesn’t have a real light saber either