Receptionist: So we’re going to need to reschedule his appointment, then?
Nurse: No, Mary*, this patient has passed away.
Receptionist: Okay, so then I’ll call him in the morning?
Nurse: You don’t understand. He’s dead.
Receptionist: Well, Dr. Smith* has a slot open for Monday…
Nurse: He’s dead.
Providence Hospital, 5th Street and Colby Avenue
Everett, Washington
Merchandiser #1: Do you really want to name this catalog spread ‘Circle Jerk’? Doesn’t that sound a little porn-ish?
Merchandiser #2: Why? What do you think ‘circle jerk’ means?
Monroe, Louisiana
Office mate #1 (asking for money for lunch): Are you trying to break me already?
Office mate #2: I would love to break you.
Washington, DC
Director: For your baby shower, are people buying pink or blue?
VP: Blue. Doctor says there’s a 50% chance it will be a boy.
San Fernando Boulevard
San Jose, California
Co-Worker: My cousin died in a car accident yesterday.
Boss: Oh, I’m sorry.
Co-Worker: Yeah. The funeral is Saturday in St. Louis.
Boss: Will you be going?
Co-Worker: Oh no! That’s not enough time for me to get everything around and make it down there! I mean, maybe if they had given me a week’s notice…
Olentangy River Road
Columbus, Ohio
Receptionist: I feel like I look like I just rolled out of bed and came into work.
Dental assistant: Well…did you?
Receptionist: Well, yeah…but still!
Centennial, Colorado
Male co-worker on phone: So my toe is definitely broken. No jogging for at least four weeks. So, you wanna come over tonight? If I can’t run, then at least I can fuck my way to fitness.
Fairfax, Virginia
Analyst on phone: It's his equipment. I'll shove it in there if it's his equipment. (pause) What do you mean, “that's what they heard about me?”
Skokie, Illinois
Accountant: Be right back. I have to go buy an ax.
East Lancaster Avenue
Downingtown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: marianoelle
Boss #1: So this year’s convention will be at the MGM Graham in Las Vegas…What?
Boss #2: Did you say “graham” like graham cracker?
Boss #1: It’s not “graham”?
3411 Pinnacle Gardens Drive
Louisville, Kentucky