50-year-old woman cashier to customer: … And then I had to chase them with my pants down, and I hadn’t even gotten the chance to wipe yet!
17111 Haggerty Road
Northville, Michigan
Indiana's Right-to-Life Law Doesn't Extend to Adults
Boss: Carl! It's a good thing you aren't a dog or I'd have put you down by now!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: BFScollegegirl
So Why Has It Made Britney So Miserable?
Sweet-natured office chick: I’m starting to realize I’m just a selfish little bitch, and now I’m much, much happier!
Centre Street
New York, New York
It's a New Orleans Thing, Dear Reader
Operator setting up auto claim with customer on phone: Sir, I'm so sorry your car got stolen today. At least you babies and CDs are fine. I think you need to git you some whiskey to calm you down. Or just do what I do to calm myself down, cheer! “Who dat! Who dat! Who dat! Yayayayayaya! Who dat!”
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Wish I had my MP3 player today
9AM Begin the Seething
Co-worker on phone: How many limbs did he lose?…Ha, ha, ha!…That’s awful.
30 South 17th Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Everything He Knows About Mexico He's Learned from Watching Johnny Depp Movies
Office guy, at the coffee line: I just came back from Cozumel! It's not like the Mexico that we hear about all the time…
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Nicole
What's the Finance Code for That?
Worker #1, about customer: How is it “annually” if she did it in September, and it's June now?
Worker #2: She's a moron.
Austin, Texas
You're Going to Love Your First Confession
Coworker to another: Let him touch and feel it, because that is really what is going to get him excited.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: J-Man 88
I'm Bingeing for Two, You Know
Pregnant manager: Are those peanut butter eggs, or just chocolate eggs?
Account exec: They're some of each. But we're not telling you which is which.
Pregnant manager: That's okay. I'll just eat them all.
Augusta, Georgia
Want to Know What’s in the ‘Everything Bagel’?
Male associate: Hey Sean, it’s not working [holds a squeeze bottle of flesh colored sauce in front of himself.] I can’t get it to come!
Sean, slowly: Put the bottle down.
Female associate: You freak. There’s customers here!
Center Ridge Road
Rocky River, Ohio
Overheard by: silent one