Manager: Sounds good. I asked Roger* for his unsolicited feedback on this, so that will be helpful.
42 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
We're Still Living Under the Same Roofie
Cubicle dweller on phone: Nah, she's not been banging me very much. I think I'm banging her more than she's banging me.
Conway, Arkansas
Didn’t You Say That Would Result in Complete Proton Reversal?
Cube rat #1: You have the scissors, right?
Cube rat #2: Yeah…
Cube rat #1: Now cut the yellow wire…
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
Pick Up! I Know You’re There!
Coworker on cell when it starts ringing: Oh, crap. I think I just called myself.
Rockville, Maryland
Tonight, on To Dress a Predator…
Scruffy guy #1: So you actually wear little girl clothes?
Scruffy guy #2, nodding a lot: Yeah!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Laura
Native Americans: Jeez, Even the Bigots Ignore Us!
CEO to new sales rep: Use your judgment when it comes to payment schedules. If they sound like good people — you know, like normal Americans on the phone — we’ll bill them. But Ay-rabs and Orientals pay COD. You have to watch those bastards, ’cause they’ll all fuck you.
1190 North Del Rio Place
Ontario, California
Overheard by: Really glad I gave notice yesterday
“There's No Room at the Inn, Bitcheeesss!”
National sales director, about company Christmas tree contest: Fuck needy people. This is about Christmas!
Bonner Springs, Kansas
The Loincloth and Spear Were Also a Tip-Off
Associate attorney to boss: Hey! You're smiling! You must've killed a client!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: The Receptionist Hears the Darndest Things
The Left
Guy: The movie wasn’t very good, but the chick was super hot. She was, like, half Chinese, half normal.
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Supervisor
I Totally Would've Said You Were Five-and-a-Half, at Best
Editor: This story is too long. We've got to whack off about eight inches here.
Modesto, California