Boss: You know, if you’re behind the train, then you’re probably driving on the tracks again.
200 West Oak Street
Fort Collins, Colorado
- Posted on
- Colorado, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy
Supervisor: I have to clean this place up today before one of the company reps shows up!
Worker: Are they bringing us some squishy balls?!
Supervisor: No… Oh, not that kind of rep — this guy is from one of the companies that pays us.
Worker: What? Are they at least bringing some candy? Candy! Candy! Candy! Yay, candy!
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
- Posted on
- Arizona, Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy
Customer on phone: The plug won’t fit!
IA rep: It’s okay, sir. I just need to confirm that the first device plugged into our router is either a firewall or a computer.
Customer on phone: They… They just won’t connect!
IA rep: We’re looking for an Ethernet line. Is there an Ethernet line coming out of the router? Make sure not to plug or unplug anything. It will take down your voice, too.
Customer on phone: It’s some telephone thingy… Oh, wait! This cord might work– [click].
IA rep: We got another one.
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
- Posted on
- Dumb Customers, Michigan, Technology
Mid-life crisis coworker: Hi, this is James*. You remember me? Good. Well, I was just calling to tell you that there’s lettuce on my bagel, and I ordered no lettuce, no tomato, and this is the third time this has happened. You guys make great food, but this is unacceptable and I thought you should be aware of your error.
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Maintenance guy: You gotta get your key out real quick or they’re gonna swing an ax.
420 Western Avenue
Albany, New York
- Posted on
- Advice, Consultants, New York
Coworker: I bought some new gi-normous pearls — they’re like testicles!
1st Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Zoltarpanaflex
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Gossip, Washington
Man: Is that meeting here on the tenth floor?
Woman: No, it’s on the eleventh floor.
Man: Okay. Is that one floor up?
2775 Laurel Street
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
- Posted on
- Canadia, Dumb Employees, Questions
First grader #1: Miss D.*, how old are you?
23-year-old Miss D.: Well…
First grader #2: Shhh! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask an old lady how old she is?!
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Toni
Office drone: It’s like… once you see the purple elephant walk into the room, you just don’t care.
490 1st Avenue South
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: django
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Florida, Office Politics
Office peon: That John Wilkes Booth — they just didn’t shoot Lincoln soon enough.
Arlington, Texas
