Employee #1: Ugh! I hate it when [Allison] brings her bratty kid to work.
Employee #2: [Allison] knows he is a brat. He turned her into a coyote mother.
Employee #1: What?!
Employee #2: A coyote mother is when you gnaw your own ovaries off so you can’t have more brats.
Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Boss: Did I forget to tell you that we will be open this Monday? I decided not to close the office after all.
Employee: For what?
Boss: It’s Labor Day, and I was going to close the office, but decided not to.
Employee: It’s not Labor Day! Memorial Day is this month, but not until the end of the month.
Boss: It says right here on my calendar it’s Labor Day. I thought it was weird that Labor and Memorial Day were in the same month.
Employee: Let me see that calendar. . . Oh, for God’s sakes, do you see that M by the date?
Boss: Ummm, yeah.
Employee: That means Labor Day for Mexico!
Boss: No kidding! Wow, I feel really stupid!
Employee: Yeah, you should! Happy Labor Day, Senorita!
4302 West Crystal Lake Road
McHenry, Illinois
Overheard by: Gramma
Employee to uniformed employee: You working today?
UE looks down at shirt: Nope, I’m just a figment of your imagination.
1125 Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Roman Fox
- Posted on
- Employees, General Idiocy, South Carolina
Computer tech: how often you clean your hard drive?
Customer: Once in a while, but I always use Windex.
27 Scotch Road
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: chris doan
- Posted on
- General Idiocy, New Jersey, Tech People, Technology
Secretary: Why are these reports formatted so weird?
Boss: Well, because the Germans made them. Those Germans are weird.
Secretary: Hey, now… Be careful, I’m German.
Boss: Uh oh, you’re not a lesbian too, are you?
Secretary: Well, I’m not really German.
Main Street Financial Office
East Hartford, Connecticut
- Posted on
- Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Connecticut, Geography & History, Gripes, Questions, Sexuality
Group leader: You filed the wrong report for this transaction.
Clerk: That’s the way [Lisa] trained me to do it.
Group leader: Which proves idiotisms are contagious.
Clerk: Yeah, you’re right… I mean no…. I mean, I don’t like it when you make me have to think about what you say.
5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
- Posted on
- Bosses and Underlings, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Insults, Mississippi, Receptionists
Manager: We should try putting up our design pattern library on one of those new . . . kiwis!
Drone: [Sigh] Wikis?
1 Kirkwood Boulevard
Southlake, Texas
- Posted on
- Advice, Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Technology, Texas, Words
Trim middle-aged President: I just received my soccer badge in the mail.
Young receptionist: I can’t see you playing soccer.
President: I don’t play, I referee.
Receptionist: Still, I can’t see your fat ass waddling up and down the field.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: now I’m going to have to answer the phones again
- Posted on
- Connecticut, Executives, Insults, Receptionists, Sports
Worker: There is something wrong with my computer. It is really
slow… I mean really slow. It is like having a conversation with Keanu Reeves.
26 Arrowsmith Road
Hamilton, Ontario
- Posted on
- Canadia, Coworkers, Technology
Admin #1: Without extremes, normalcy wouldn’t exist.
Admin #2: Wow, we’re getting heavy now.
Admin #3: Back from tour one day, and you’re already waxing poetic?
Admin #1: Wait, isn’t that what fractals and Jurassic Park are about?
Admin #2 & 3: What?
Admin #1: Extremes, fractals and Jurassic Park. Wasn’t anyone a nerd like me?
Admin #2: Um, no.
3 Lafayette Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
- Posted on
- Admins, Arts, General Idiocy, Gripes, New York, Philosophy
