American client: Aren’t we supposed to receive last month’s results soon?
French staffer: Normally, yes, but Easter was only last Sunday.
American client: So?
French staffer: Well, it means we’re only in the first week of a two-week holiday. So everything will be ready in three weeks.
American client: What? Do those fucking socialist dicksippers really have two weeks off for Easter?! You know, when I retire I’m going to work in France.
125 West 55th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jean val Jean
- Posted on
- Dumb Customers, Insults, New York
Office grunt: There’s nothing wrong with grandmas… Like you’ve never wanted a GILF!
1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Garbageman on phone: I am calling in sick. I took some Cialis and I have had an erection for more than four hours… Has anyone used that excuse before?
Dispatcher: No, not that I recall.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: dispatcher who has heard it all
- Posted on
- California, Coworkers, Gossip
Announcement over PA: If anyone has taken Maureen’s* K-Y Jelly, please return it immediately.
W 66th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: wondering why its needed
- Posted on
- Employees, New York, Offers and requests
Office manager: Have you ever seen the images from an MRI? It’s amazing the beautiful colors that are inside of our bodies!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: glorified gopher
- Posted on
- Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Georgia, Health & Hygiene
Suit: I’d do it just to say I had hair on my ass.
385 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
- Posted on
- Body Parts, General Idiocy, New York, Suits
Chick #1: Did you know that they’re making Coke kosher for Passover?
Chick #2: [Blank stare.]Chick #1: They’re putting sugar in it.
Chick #2: [Continues to stare.]Chick #1: Normally, it has corn syrup in it.
Chick #2: … Oh! The soda!
200 Varick Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Mardi
- Posted on
- Bimbettes, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, New York, Religion, Substance Use & Abuse
Coworker #1: She got to the point where she couldn’t leave the house anymore. She had that — what do you call it — homophobia.
Coworker #2: Ah, I think you mean ‘agoraphobia.’
Coworker #1: No, I’m pretty sure it’s homophobia.
Coworker #2: … If you say so.
187 Thomas Street
Sydney
Australia
- Posted on
- Australia, Coworkers, Feelings, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Words
Coworker: You see that door right there? We can fit, like, nine minors in there!
Bloomington, Indiana
Teacher #1: So, I went to my gynecologist yesterday, and he told me I had an exceptionally nice vagina.
Teacher #2: Oh, that was nice of him.
214 Race Street
Middletown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: poor student who wanted to ask a question
- Posted on
- Body Parts, Education, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania, Teachers
