Counter person: Hi, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I’d like a dinner for twelve, please.
Counter person: Oh, I’m sorry. For orders that large you have to call catering at least twenty-four hours in advance.
Customer: Er, then how about two dinners for six?
Counter person: Oh, sure, we can do that.

Boston Market, Highway 60 and Limona Road
Brandon, Florida

Overheard by: Stefanie

Builder #1: Do we have a hole puncher?
Builder #2: Yeah, it’s over there near Diane’s* fat arse.
Builder #1: You can’t say that! That’s sexual harrassment! Diane, don’t worry, love. You’ve got a great arse.

Construction Site Office
Townsville, Australia

Overheard by: Naomi

Co-Worker: She sounds like she has a lot of cats. Like 40. She probably lives with these forty cats and has a pathetic life. Just listen to that voice.

5th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Nicole J.

Guy #1: Who was Chief then?
Guy #2: According to the record, Dick Eaton.
Guy #3: Wait. Dick Eaton? So if he were filling out a form today, last name first, he’d be…
Guy #1: You’re right! Case closed, that says it all!

26 Federal Plaza
New York, New York

Overheard by: R. Smith

European: Did you just use the word “impetus”? I think you’re the first American I have heard use that word.

3695 Freedom Circle
Santa Clara, California

Overheard by: bbs

Guy in cubicle #1: What are you doing?
Guy in cubicle #2: Looking at rivers that can kill ya!

349 Mitchell Street
Groton, Connecticut

Overheard by: Livonthedge

Admin: I just ordered the pizzas, but I don’t know if it’s gonna get here. I kept telling them, “Our building is on Exalander Road,” and they didn’t even know where that was.
Boss: We work on Alexander Road.
Admin: I know, that’s what I kept telling them. Exalander Road. But they had no clue.

Route 1 South and Alexander Road
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Emily

Secretary: Put it in! Put it in! Faster, c’mon! I can’t take it, put it in! [Giggles]Worker: Ready? Here we go. [Excessive grunting]Secretary: Oh yeah, that feels great! Oh, yes.

Boss walks by. Looks in office.

Boss: What the hell is going on here?
Secretary: He just put the air conditioner in!

2000 Peel Street
Montreal, Quebec

Overheard by: Monika

Library patron: Do y’all know where this book is?
Library employee: Try looking by periodicals.
Library patron: Who?

100 Decatur Street
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Jebediah

Co-Worker #1: Don’t say “big business.” They’ll just write us off as anti-corporate crazies.
Co-Worker #2: But we are anti-corporate crazies.

Pause.

Co-Worker #1: Yes…but we don’t want to be written off as anti-corporate crazies nonetheless.

1700 Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC

Overheard by: ECO