So They'll Sprout?

Assistant manager on phone: Now that he is out of jail maybe he'll want to soil his wild oats.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Jude

Posted on March 31, 2009
Crimes, Employees, New York, On the phone

Whatever You Think, You're Irreplaceable

Female cube neighbor, whispering into cell: Jeff*, I woke up this morning with a naked gay man in my bed, and it wasn't you. I'm highly disturbed. Call me immediately.

Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on March 31, 2009
Employees, Feelings, Georgia, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

Is It Apathy If You Intensely Don't Care?

Customer: I don't care! I don't care that I need to talk to him! I don't care that he's unavailable! Do you hear me? I don't care.
Customer service rep, blandly: Then why have you called us today, sir, if you're so apathetic?

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: i used to be his supervisor

Posted on March 18, 2009
Anger management, Customer Service, Customer Support, Dumb Customers, Massachusetts, On the phone, Questions

And They Get Mad When You Try to Put Them on a Leash

CEO on phone: I love immigrants, they're so cute. They're like dogs when you talk to them and they turn their heads and look at you, and try to understand.

McLean, Virginia

Overheard by: Septimus

Posted on March 13, 2009
Animals, Bosses, Feelings, On the phone, Virginia, Weirdness

Poor Winnie

Sloth on phone: I agree we need to go grocery shopping before we go camping. (pause) No, don't bother to buy that much corn on the cob because my boyfriend won't eat it. (pause) Why? The truth is he doesn't like to see it in his poo when he looks back and flushes.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: My Ipod just isn't loud enough

Posted on March 9, 2009
Holidays, Maryland, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Restroom

You Have No Cause Of Legal Action

Attorney on phone: The thing is that, it is not the teacher's responsibility to get your kids out of bed, it's yours.

Ellicott Square Building
Buffalo, New York

Overheard by: wonders if they would make coffee while they were threre

Posted on March 2, 2009
Family, General Idiocy, Lawyers, New York, On the phone

When Americans Think, the Terrorists Win.

Boss to another, on phone: I'm telling you, if we start letting them think for themselves, we're screwed!

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Apparently Screwed

Posted on February 26, 2009
Advice, Bosses, Office Politics, On the phone, Texas

Son Of a Glitch!

Beautiful supervisor on phone: How did that project I gave you go?
Tech support specialist: Well, I ran into a couple of…snatches.
Beautiful supervisor: Okay, well, I will come help you out.
Tech support specialist, hanging up phone: I meant to say “glitches,” I meant to say “glitches”!

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Tech Anthony

Posted on February 25, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Florida, On the phone, Questions, Tech People, Words

Based on My Own Painful Professional Experience

Accountant on phone: And what does he want inserted there? And all the way down to the end? I don't think it will fit.

New York City, New York

Posted on February 25, 2009
Body Parts, Financial Folk, New York, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

Well, Let's Just Get Right to the Layoffs, Shall We?

Overly talkative manager: So, to lighten the mood a little on this call, what did you do on your day off yesterday, Steve? Did you get some mini-golf in?
Steve: I was at my uncle's funeral.

Minnesota

Overheard by: HungryHungryHippy

Posted on February 19, 2009
Bosses and Underlings, Death, Family, Minnesota, On the phone, Questions, Sports

On the phone