Mr. Cheney Really Should Give Up Hunting

Employee answering phone: Thank you for calling… (gets squirted with silly string) Aahh!
Customer: What?
Employee: I'm sorry, I just got shot in the face with something.

Scotts Valley, California

Overheard by: Mari

Posted on April 10, 2009
Accidents, Body Parts, California, Customers, Employees, On the phone, Sexuality

Hard Finding a Prostitute in Baltimore, Huh?

Grad student: So I think that the manuscript should be organized differently…
(advisor's phone rings, he has a quick conversation in Arabic)
Advisor: Goddammit, sorry. I hate when my damn Arab relatives call, they always want me to set them up with prostitutes for their trips to the United States.
Grad student: Uh…
Advisor: Anyway, where is figure 3 going in your paper now?

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on April 3, 2009
Education, Language barrier, Maryland, On the phone, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Travel, Weirdness

The One Made Of Gingerbread?

Supervisor, hanging up phone with crazy caller: She said Nancy Pelosi told her she could call in.
Secretary: Who's that?
Supervisor, stunned: The Speaker of the House?
Secretary: What house?
Supervisor: The one of ill-repute down on Marshall Street.

County Courthouse
Norristownm, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lan

Posted on April 3, 2009
Admins, Bosses, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

So They'll Sprout?

Assistant manager on phone: Now that he is out of jail maybe he'll want to soil his wild oats.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Jude

Posted on March 31, 2009
Crimes, Employees, New York, On the phone

Whatever You Think, You're Irreplaceable

Female cube neighbor, whispering into cell: Jeff*, I woke up this morning with a naked gay man in my bed, and it wasn't you. I'm highly disturbed. Call me immediately.

Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on March 31, 2009
Employees, Feelings, Georgia, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

Is It Apathy If You Intensely Don't Care?

Customer: I don't care! I don't care that I need to talk to him! I don't care that he's unavailable! Do you hear me? I don't care.
Customer service rep, blandly: Then why have you called us today, sir, if you're so apathetic?

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: i used to be his supervisor

Posted on March 18, 2009
Anger management, Customer Service, Customer Support, Dumb Customers, Massachusetts, On the phone, Questions

And They Get Mad When You Try to Put Them on a Leash

CEO on phone: I love immigrants, they're so cute. They're like dogs when you talk to them and they turn their heads and look at you, and try to understand.

McLean, Virginia

Overheard by: Septimus

Posted on March 13, 2009
Animals, Bosses, Feelings, On the phone, Virginia, Weirdness

Poor Winnie

Sloth on phone: I agree we need to go grocery shopping before we go camping. (pause) No, don't bother to buy that much corn on the cob because my boyfriend won't eat it. (pause) Why? The truth is he doesn't like to see it in his poo when he looks back and flushes.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: My Ipod just isn't loud enough