When Alumni Giving Attacks!: Coming Soon to Fox TV

Student on phone: Sir, as a current student at XYZ College*, I know I can talk to you about all the improvements that we’ve made since you attended…. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. No… No, I didn’t realize you hated XYZ. I will be sure to tell him that… Repeat after you? Sir, please… I promise I’ll tell him… Okay, sir, I’ll tell him that you said that everyone at this school can fuck themselves and suck your 70-year-old balls… Thank you. You have a good night, too, sir.

515 Loudon Road
Loudonville, New York

Overheard by: trying not to laugh while on the phone

Posted on March 16, 2015
Default, Geography & History, Gripes, Insults, New York, On the phone, Students

You Should Have Had a Few Spares

Administrator on phone: Yeah, my cat passed away last Sunday. I put him in a paper bag and put it out on the curb for… for trash pick-up… What else could I do? Can’t put him in the back yard. Yeah, I gotta get a new place. I can’t stand the mice anymore.

Department of Education, 65 Court Street
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Emma

Posted on March 15, 2015
Admins, Death, Education, General Idiocy, New York, On the phone

Does It Ever Really Work?

Coworker on phone: Well, 69 works for me if it works for you.

Dana Point, California

Posted on March 15, 2015
California, Coworkers, Offers and requests, On the phone, Sexuality

Variety: Lewd Nude Dude Chewed!

Guy on cell: Dude! Another dude got chewed!

Fresno City Hall
Fresno, California

Overheard by: Dudette

Posted on March 9, 2015
California, On the phone, Sexuality, Violence, Words

Amber,, We're a Phone Sex Company

CSR, after customer hangs up on her: She called me a cunt… what is that?

Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted on March 8, 2015
Body Parts, Customer Service, Insults, Ohio, On the phone, Questions, Words

And All Pointing in the Right Direction

Woman on phone: Well, it’ll be nice to have teeth in your mouth again.

10 Exchange Place
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on March 8, 2015
Consultants, New Jersey, On the phone

Really, Why Does There Have to Be a Box at All?

Account executive on phone to media planner: All this thinking out of the box… I mean, the box doesn’t have to be square.

150 W Jefferson Avenue
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: I guess she has a hat box

Posted on March 7, 2015
Executives, Michigan, On the phone

My Stupidosity Just Grows and Grows, Y'know?

Peon, slamming down phone: That client is so goddamn dumb! I swear to god, every time I talk to him, I get more and more stupider.

International Finance Centre
Hong Kong

Posted on March 5, 2015
China, Employees, Gripes, Insults, On the phone

My Lawyers Said I Needed to Add That.

Coworker on phone: Just because you're Egyptian doesn't mean everyone is out to kill you. (pause) It's just me, and it has nothing to do with the fact that you're Egyptian.

Westboro, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I work with a serial killer

Posted on March 5, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Massachusetts, On the phone, Relationships, Violence

2PM Processing Payroll

Owner’s wife on phone: Where are the timesheets?
Girl who was just fired: They are in my hands right now.
Owner’s wife: Where are you?
Girl: What do you mean where am I? I’m at your office, you called me here!!

3202 Vie Street
Knoxville, Tennessee

Posted on March 4, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Hiring & Firing, On the phone, Southeast

On the phone

Amber,, We're a Phone Sex Company