My Stupidosity Just Grows and Grows, Y'know?

Peon, slamming down phone: That client is so goddamn dumb! I swear to god, every time I talk to him, I get more and more stupider.

International Finance Centre
Hong Kong

Posted on March 5, 2015
China, Employees, Gripes, Insults, On the phone

My Lawyers Said I Needed to Add That.

Coworker on phone: Just because you're Egyptian doesn't mean everyone is out to kill you. (pause) It's just me, and it has nothing to do with the fact that you're Egyptian.

Westboro, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I work with a serial killer

Posted on March 5, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Massachusetts, On the phone, Relationships, Violence

2PM Processing Payroll

Owner’s wife on phone: Where are the timesheets?
Girl who was just fired: They are in my hands right now.
Owner’s wife: Where are you?
Girl: What do you mean where am I? I’m at your office, you called me here!!

3202 Vie Street
Knoxville, Tennessee

Posted on March 4, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Hiring & Firing, On the phone, Southeast

Without Contempt for the Customer, No One Could Work in a Department Store

Older saleswoman, picking up the phone: Hello, this is Sue. How may I help you? Yes? Oh, no! Oh, dear! Definitely! Absolutely, just bring it on in and I’ll take care of it for you. No problem! I’m soooo sorry. I am so, so, so sorry!! [Hangs up phone.] I’m sorry your mother was a prostitute.

Department Store
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: lisa

Posted on March 4, 2015
Anger management, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Insults, Nebraska, On the phone, Retail, Sales

We’re Flying One in From St. Petersburg

Female employee on phone: …will you outsource the foreskin?

18th Street & Park Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Mikey Z

Posted on March 4, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, New York, On the phone, Questions

I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Get That; Please Press 1 for English…

Manager on phone: Does panting count as a response?

Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Posted on March 2, 2015
Default, Employees, Mississippi, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

We Didn't Get Our New Calendars in Time

Woman on phone to client: Well, New Year's Day fell on the 1st this year, which messed a few things up.

Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: Stunned

Posted on March 1, 2015
Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, North Carolina, On the phone

He Believes Chrysler Daimlered For Our Sins

Boss on the phone: What religion is he?…That makes sense that he drives a Jeep then.

Northbrook, Illinois

Overheard by: AHHH!!

Posted on February 28, 2015
Illinois, On the phone, Religion

Elvira Also Believes Her Doctor Is Psychic

Woman on phone: I got a letter from the insurance agency. What should I do?
Lawyer: What does the letter say?
Woman: Aren't you a lawyer?
Lawyer: Yes, but I need to see what the letter says.
Woman: You're e a lawyer. You should know these things.
Lawyer: Without reading it, I don't know.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on February 27, 2015
Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Lawyers, Massachusetts, On the phone, Questions

Yes, I Know They All Smell Bad

Curator on cell: So, have you found the dead artist yet?

Art gallery
London
England

Posted on February 27, 2015
England, On the phone, Questions

On the phone