Assistant on phone: Hey [Lindsay], my little dancing queen, I had a great time last night…Hope you did, too…
Co-worker: He’s always so vocal the day after he’s gotten laid.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Assistant on phone: Hey [Lindsay], my little dancing queen, I had a great time last night…Hope you did, too…
Co-worker: He’s always so vocal the day after he’s gotten laid.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Woman on phone: How did they pull it out? Did they cut you open or go up your butt-hole?
University Place
New York, New York
Assistant on phone with sales rep: Allen*, what was going on with that part for Darin*?
Allen: It’ll be in here in the morning. I’m going to drive it down there, and I’m probably going to have to blow him, but I won’t like it!
Assistant on phone: He said they’ll… Wait… What did you say, Allen?!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Guy in stall, answering cell: Wassup? (pause) Taking a crap. (pause) No. In the bathroom.
Herndon, Virginia
Phone room worker to respondent: Hi, I’m calling from XYZ Research*, and we’re doing a survey on Canadian politics. May I speak with a male who’s 18 or older? … Well, are you a male? A male. A male is a man… Do you have a penis? A penis? It’s the male genitalia… Great. First, what province do you live in?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: phone room peon
Agent on phone: Good afternoon, Mrs. Arrington*. I just wanted to remind you to purchase a very snug belt before July 20th because you will get your pants rocked off.
6000 East Camelback Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Cube-dweller (on phone): Thank you for calling , Andy speaking.
Customer: Can I speak to Charles, please?
Cube-dweller: Speaking.
Customer: Oh, I thought you said you were Andy?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: So…you're Andy and Charles?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: Okay… Well, I'm returning your call.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Andy. I mean, Charles.
Hipster teen on phone: Oh, that was awesome! Like a combination of Fergie and Jesus!
Barnes & Noble
Greenfield, Wisconsin
Overheard by: darkhorse
Drunk on phone: Hello, is this Frogs?
Intern: No, this is not a bar, it is a place of business.
Drunk on phone: Look…is my honey Lois there?
Intern: No, please don't call anymore. (hangs up)
(phone rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Look…I'm looking for my honey Lois. Is she there?
Intern: No, this is a place of business. Please stop calling.
(hangs up phone, then it rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Have you seen my honey, Lois?
Supervisor: Yeah, I've seen her. She's sitting here at the bar and she's making out with a bunch of guys.
Drunk on the phone: Bitch! Tell her I'm going to kill her.
Supervisor: I would love to, but I think she's having sex right now on the bar. I'll wait until she's done.
Drunk on the phone: I can't believe she is doing this to me. (starts to cry and hangs up phone)
Supervisor to intern: Every once in a while you gotta have a little fun.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Annmarie
Man on phone: Now, is this something that if I open it at home, it'll explode? Oh, right, in case a group of nuns is taking a tour. Well, thank you uncle Eugene! I hope you shoot something this weekend!
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Who exactly is this Uncle Eugene?
