Phone room worker to respondent: Hi, I’m calling from XYZ Research*, and we’re doing a survey on Canadian politics. May I speak with a male who’s 18 or older? … Well, are you a male? A male. A male is a man… Do you have a penis? A penis? It’s the male genitalia… Great. First, what province do you live in?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: phone room peon
Agent on phone: Good afternoon, Mrs. Arrington*. I just wanted to remind you to purchase a very snug belt before July 20th because you will get your pants rocked off.
6000 East Camelback Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Cube-dweller (on phone): Thank you for calling , Andy speaking.
Customer: Can I speak to Charles, please?
Cube-dweller: Speaking.
Customer: Oh, I thought you said you were Andy?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: So…you're Andy and Charles?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: Okay… Well, I'm returning your call.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Andy. I mean, Charles.
Hipster teen on phone: Oh, that was awesome! Like a combination of Fergie and Jesus!
Barnes & Noble
Greenfield, Wisconsin
Overheard by: darkhorse
Drunk on phone: Hello, is this Frogs?
Intern: No, this is not a bar, it is a place of business.
Drunk on phone: Look…is my honey Lois there?
Intern: No, please don't call anymore. (hangs up)
(phone rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Look…I'm looking for my honey Lois. Is she there?
Intern: No, this is a place of business. Please stop calling.
(hangs up phone, then it rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Have you seen my honey, Lois?
Supervisor: Yeah, I've seen her. She's sitting here at the bar and she's making out with a bunch of guys.
Drunk on the phone: Bitch! Tell her I'm going to kill her.
Supervisor: I would love to, but I think she's having sex right now on the bar. I'll wait until she's done.
Drunk on the phone: I can't believe she is doing this to me. (starts to cry and hangs up phone)
Supervisor to intern: Every once in a while you gotta have a little fun.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Annmarie
Man on phone: Now, is this something that if I open it at home, it'll explode? Oh, right, in case a group of nuns is taking a tour. Well, thank you uncle Eugene! I hope you shoot something this weekend!
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Who exactly is this Uncle Eugene?
Teacher on phone: But [Matt], it’s just the sound of a gun. The audience won’t even see it!…Not even the sound effect?…Are you kidding me?…So, what, we’re not allowed to do Hamlet now because somebody has to die in the end?…I know they don’t use real swords; we aren’t using a real gun!…How is anyone supposed to die?
2155 Napier Avenue
Macon, Georgia
CSR on phone with daughter: My mom never picked me up when I had cramps. You’re staying at school. Period.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Secretary on phone: Hi, I have tried twice now to establish myself as the main contact person for our firm with your company via your online customer service, and it still won’t change the name…Yes, and I’m considering legally changing my name to [Nathan Blumenthal] because apparently that would be easier than getting it changed with your printing service.
19 South LaSalle Street
Chicago, Illinois
Male phone representative to female customer: Mmm… Okay… Yeah… Am I married?
Call Center
Beaverton, Oregon
