On the phone

A Manhole Explosion Could Ruin the Holiday

Construction manager on phone: He said the manhole was okay as long as you stayed 6 inches away from it. (pause) Yeah. We're well over 6 inches. We're almost 8. (pause) Well, send me a nasty e-mail. (laughter) Just not too nasty, I don't want to feel bad before the Thanksgiving break!

Woodland, California

Overheard by: Wonderfully Amuzed

50-something guy on important-sounding call: Well, do you have a Facebook account?

New York City, New York

Boss on phone: It needs to be beef, not candy.

Victoria, Texas

Overheard by: Diana

Coworker on phone: He is into all the stuff I am, like anal and light spanking and nibbling, and we are going to go for coffee next week.

24th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York

Loudest woman in the office on phone: I do not want chow mein. Can you hear me now? I do not want chow mein.

Burbank, California

Guy on cell: You have to pull the door and then turn the key. (pause) Did the key break off in the lock? (pause) Look at your key. Is half of it missing?

West Jefferson
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Kazmeyer

Assistant on phone: Hey [Lindsay], my little dancing queen, I had a great time last night…Hope you did, too…
Co-worker: He’s always so vocal the day after he’s gotten laid.

640 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Woman on phone: How did they pull it out? Did they cut you open or go up your butt-hole?

University Place
New York, New York

Assistant on phone with sales rep: Allen*, what was going on with that part for Darin*?
Allen: It’ll be in here in the morning. I’m going to drive it down there, and I’m probably going to have to blow him, but I won’t like it!
Assistant on phone: He said they’ll… Wait… What did you say, Allen?!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Guy in stall, answering cell: Wassup? (pause) Taking a crap. (pause) No. In the bathroom.

Herndon, Virginia