Guy on cell: You have to pull the door and then turn the key. (pause) Did the key break off in the lock? (pause) Look at your key. Is half of it missing?
West Jefferson
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Kazmeyer
Guy on cell: You have to pull the door and then turn the key. (pause) Did the key break off in the lock? (pause) Look at your key. Is half of it missing?
West Jefferson
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Kazmeyer
Assistant on phone: Hey [Lindsay], my little dancing queen, I had a great time last night…Hope you did, too…
Co-worker: He’s always so vocal the day after he’s gotten laid.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Woman on phone: How did they pull it out? Did they cut you open or go up your butt-hole?
University Place
New York, New York
Assistant on phone with sales rep: Allen*, what was going on with that part for Darin*?
Allen: It’ll be in here in the morning. I’m going to drive it down there, and I’m probably going to have to blow him, but I won’t like it!
Assistant on phone: He said they’ll… Wait… What did you say, Allen?!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Guy in stall, answering cell: Wassup? (pause) Taking a crap. (pause) No. In the bathroom.
Herndon, Virginia
Phone room worker to respondent: Hi, I’m calling from XYZ Research*, and we’re doing a survey on Canadian politics. May I speak with a male who’s 18 or older? … Well, are you a male? A male. A male is a man… Do you have a penis? A penis? It’s the male genitalia… Great. First, what province do you live in?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: phone room peon
Agent on phone: Good afternoon, Mrs. Arrington*. I just wanted to remind you to purchase a very snug belt before July 20th because you will get your pants rocked off.
6000 East Camelback Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Cube-dweller (on phone): Thank you for calling , Andy speaking.
Customer: Can I speak to Charles, please?
Cube-dweller: Speaking.
Customer: Oh, I thought you said you were Andy?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: So…you're Andy and Charles?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: Okay… Well, I'm returning your call.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Andy. I mean, Charles.
Hipster teen on phone: Oh, that was awesome! Like a combination of Fergie and Jesus!
Barnes & Noble
Greenfield, Wisconsin
Overheard by: darkhorse
Drunk on phone: Hello, is this Frogs?
Intern: No, this is not a bar, it is a place of business.
Drunk on phone: Look…is my honey Lois there?
Intern: No, please don't call anymore. (hangs up)
(phone rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Look…I'm looking for my honey Lois. Is she there?
Intern: No, this is a place of business. Please stop calling.
(hangs up phone, then it rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Have you seen my honey, Lois?
Supervisor: Yeah, I've seen her. She's sitting here at the bar and she's making out with a bunch of guys.
Drunk on the phone: Bitch! Tell her I'm going to kill her.
Supervisor: I would love to, but I think she's having sex right now on the bar. I'll wait until she's done.
Drunk on the phone: I can't believe she is doing this to me. (starts to cry and hangs up phone)
Supervisor to intern: Every once in a while you gotta have a little fun.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Annmarie
