Employee on phone: You have to lubricate. You can’t just shove it in there. This is a moving thing — you have to take care of it.
270 Park Avenue
Huntington, New York
Employee on phone: You have to lubricate. You can’t just shove it in there. This is a moving thing — you have to take care of it.
270 Park Avenue
Huntington, New York
Coworker on phone: I get all my dogs cremated, so they can get buried with me when I die. Yes, I'm taking all mine with me when I go. Yeah, I have a whole cupboard full of dead dogs. My dad's in there, too.
Christchurch
New Zealand
Co-worker on phone: Oh, man…Yeah, if you have HIV, you should definately stay home…Okay, see ya Monday.
Co-worker #2: So who has the HIV?
Co-worker #1: Oh, [Paul]’s got the flu and strep or something.
2300 West Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Lauren
Office guy on the phone: Nice. So you sleep in the nude. Not bad for a Republican.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Overly happy admin on phone, on administrative professional's day: Amanda made me cookies! (pause) I know! I want them to feel free to worship me whenever they want! Bowing is optional!
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: and when exactly is computer monkey day?
VP Research on phone: Look, I understand you think your project numbers are important, but we have data to suggest you don’t need to know them.
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Brian Brinegar
Lady on phone: He’s going to the baby shower? Holy shit. I know he’s gay, but he has a penis.
825 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Tami D’Intern
Sales assistant on phone: What? I thought you were a boy. Well, as long as they don’t match.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: what?
Boss man on phone with contract project manager: Hey, Julie. Do you have your clothes on yet?
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: had to walk away, was laughing too loud
Angry customer, ending long rant: Why do I have to sign a form? Why can't I close it over the phone? I didn't have to sign a form to open the account.
CSR: Yes, you did.
(pause)
Angry customer: Will you e-mail it to me?
Boston, Massachusetts
