On the phone

Manager on phone: Yes sir, I'm aware that the auto-message is in two different voices. No sir, I did not think that people would be confused…I'm sorry you feel that way, sir.

Barnes & Noble
Greenfield, Wisconsin

Overheard by: darkhorse

Coworker on cell: I just don't understand bro, what do you need a real human head for?

Baltimore, Maryland

Worker on phone: I’m sorry, we can’t hire you…It’s not that, it’s just that I don’t want to work with you.

3838 NW 13th Street
Gainesville, Florida

CSA coming off phone call: I just customer serviced the arse off that last customer!

Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: curious supervisor

Architect on phone: Alright, you’re not understanding me. [pause] Okay, what if I keep this one, but eat the other one… Look, I just need to know can I get any diseases or bacteria from these kittens or what?

2020 South King Street
Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: crackin up

Attorney on conference call: Your honor, opposing counsel is beating a dead whore!

New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Glad she's not a dead whore

Branch manager on phone: Hello? Ok, put him through. Hey, Matt*! Hold on, let me shut my office door… Yeah… Yeah… I do love my wife…
Cubicle chick: Did he just say what I think he said? ‘I do love my wife’?
Sales guy: Yes, but I think you missed a part. He said ‘I do love my wife, but…’
Cubicle chick: It’s gonna be a goood day!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Receptionist: Cindy's at lunch. I can give you her voice mail.
Woman on phone: Oh…is this her voice mail?
Receptionist (after long, disbelieving pause): One…moment…

Boston, Massachusetts

Attorney on phone to male co-counsel: Helloooo my little queen! Did you get that fat bastard on the phone?

Huntington, New York

Overheard by: Lady Lawyer

CSR on phone: May I speak with Ellen*?
Other line: Who?
CSR on phone: Ellen.
Other line: Ellen? This is a fire station. It doesn’t ring a bell.

14610 IH 10 West
San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: kelynsh