Emergency operator #1: Hello? Hello? (hangs up phone) Whoops!
Emergency operator #2: Uh oh, what happened?
Emergency operator #1: Oh, some lady wanting to donate adult diapers just hung up on me.
Emergency operator #2: Weird, was she mad cuz we don't take donations?
Emergency operator #1: Nah, I think it was the calling her “sir” that did it.
Red Cross Call Center
San Diego, California
Secretary on phone: You are too happy, you aren't there alone, are you? (pause) Mmmmhmm, it is hot. (pause) I'm gonna let you go and call that crazy Tom* (pause) Oh, you wanna do a three-way instead? Let me see what I can do.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Not in on the action
Employee on phone: Yeah, I’m leaving early today…Because if I don’t, I’ll kill someone. No, I mean it, someone will literally die at my hands, so I figure I’m helping out the company by leaving early.
900 Commonwealth Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
IT guy on phone: Yeah, we had to let Sam* go this weekend. (pause) Yeah, the server's fixed. (pause) Uh, it's sort of weird. (pause) Yeah, well… He was on call rotation and got called in. He was high. (pause) He brought ten packs of pasta noodles with him, and jammed each noodle into the mail server intake fan. (pause) Something like that. He said the sound the noodles made against the Delta fans was the sound of the Microsoft demons being cast from the server. (pause) He managed to fill the server case with noodle shrapnel, which made the system overheat. (pause) How would I know if he successfully cast the demons from the server? (pause) No, it's still booting server 2008, if that's what you mean.
Winnipeg
Canadia
Tech guy on phone: It doesn't work? You let Jeff touch it?! You let Darth Moron touch it!
Time Warner Cable Offices
New York
Lady in office: That's odd…I just got a voice mail from a baby!
Man: When did that happen?
Lady in office: 11 pm last night…what was a baby even doing up at that hour?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: MIke
Coworker wandering lobby, on cell: Why are you going to be late this time? What do you mean the camel got loose and knocked over the “wheel of death!”
The Red Brick Hell House
Upper Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Lackey
Interviewer, during phone interview: Do you have any experience with suppository management?
Cupertino, California
Boss to vendor on phone: So, if we take a dump, how long before you can analyze it?
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: DB
Woman on phone: I really wanna get you off tonight. [Pause] No, I mean call your manager and see if they need you to come in! Shut up, stop laughing!
Peachtree Road
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: sneaky pete
