Employee: So, I know that we don't normally do this, but my father in law is sick and I need to telecommute from here. Is that okay?
Boss on speaker phone: Well, I guess telecommuting is acceptable for this week, but try not to let the situation go on much longer.
Employee to husband after, hanging up the phone: I think he just told me to kill your father.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: I don't know that I have that kind of power!
Old man on computer and phone: Oh, I love dragging and dropping!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: adele works with septugenarians.
Co-worker on phone: Hey. What’d you do with my bag of hair?
Franklin Street
Richmond, Virginia
Female coworker on phone: I don't think he's the creepy/stalker type. I mean if he was, she wouldn't let him come over to her house and spend the night, would she? (pause) No, I haven't actually seen him yet.
Frisco, Texas
Overheard by: Daniel
Fundraiser: Hey, man, I need to raise some money for Multiple Dystrophy…[to other guy at table] Yo, man, what does the “A” stand for?
Muscular Dystrophy Association telethon
Miami, Florida
Associate to customer on phone about beef recall: We are only recalling meat with the dates April 28th through June 6th on it.
Customer: Well, mine is dated June 23rd. Can I eat it?
Associate: Yes, ma'am. That's not in our recall dates.
Customer: Are you sure it's safe?
Associate: Yes ma'am. That meat wasn't part of the recall.
Customer: What were the dates again?
Associate: April 28th to June 6th.
Customer: So, I won't die?
Associate: Ma'am, unless you plan on smearing it on a pig and eating it raw, you are going to be fine.
Yarmouth, Maine
Guy on phone with accent: I'm going to take a picture of you milking a camel–it's going to be super!
Main Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Clerk on phone: Hey, you got any duct tape? You can just cut off a little piece and put that on your wart.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db's Mom
Boss on phone: So my friend said, “I found myself sobbing at my desk at 1 am on a Saturday” and I told her, “welcome to the non-profit sector!” (breaks down into uncontrollable laughter)
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Girl on phone: After work we can go out on the boat and drink. And the dogs can come. (pause) I know! Don't think I didn't get them a life jacket.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Work It.
