Girl on phone with IT: Mine's minimized and I can't get it up!
Littleton, New Hampshire
Overheard by: TMI
Girl on phone with IT: Mine's minimized and I can't get it up!
Littleton, New Hampshire
Overheard by: TMI
Co-Worker on phone: I do not want to poop in my pants!…I’m way too fucking classy for that.
1500 Broadway
New York, New York
Boss on phone: I just want a human beeeeeeing! Bahhh! Why can’t I just have a human being?…Oh thank god!Finally! A human being! Wait, you are a human being, right?…You haven’t gotten this before?
2810 Blaine Drive
Chevy Chase, Maryland
Manager on phone: I'm faxing you a copy of this color chart.
Sydney
Australia
Blonde on cell: Yeah, well, I didn’t think I could either ’cause I was on those antibiotics, but he said I could, so that’s cool.
Elevator, large insurance company
Bloomington, Illinois
Overheard by: even that was too much information for me
Emergency operator #1: Hello? Hello? (hangs up phone) Whoops!
Emergency operator #2: Uh oh, what happened?
Emergency operator #1: Oh, some lady wanting to donate adult diapers just hung up on me.
Emergency operator #2: Weird, was she mad cuz we don't take donations?
Emergency operator #1: Nah, I think it was the calling her “sir” that did it.
Red Cross Call Center
San Diego, California
Secretary on phone: You are too happy, you aren't there alone, are you? (pause) Mmmmhmm, it is hot. (pause) I'm gonna let you go and call that crazy Tom* (pause) Oh, you wanna do a three-way instead? Let me see what I can do.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Not in on the action
Employee on phone: Yeah, I’m leaving early today…Because if I don’t, I’ll kill someone. No, I mean it, someone will literally die at my hands, so I figure I’m helping out the company by leaving early.
900 Commonwealth Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
IT guy on phone: Yeah, we had to let Sam* go this weekend. (pause) Yeah, the server's fixed. (pause) Uh, it's sort of weird. (pause) Yeah, well… He was on call rotation and got called in. He was high. (pause) He brought ten packs of pasta noodles with him, and jammed each noodle into the mail server intake fan. (pause) Something like that. He said the sound the noodles made against the Delta fans was the sound of the Microsoft demons being cast from the server. (pause) He managed to fill the server case with noodle shrapnel, which made the system overheat. (pause) How would I know if he successfully cast the demons from the server? (pause) No, it's still booting server 2008, if that's what you mean.
Winnipeg
Canadia
Tech guy on phone: It doesn't work? You let Jeff touch it?! You let Darth Moron touch it!
Time Warner Cable Offices
New York
