Boss: I need her strapped to her desk with a phone in her ear at all times… I need her making money.
41 East 11th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Boss: I need her strapped to her desk with a phone in her ear at all times… I need her making money.
41 East 11th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Cubicle drone to another: Your desk gets jacked so much, I stopped stealing from you. That's how bad it is.
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Peon: So, why did you come in if you're sick?
Sick secretary: I came in because my boss needed me.
Peon (looking around office): But he's not even here!
Sick secretary (grimly): Oh, he's here. Believe me. He's here. He's definitely here.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: hope he's not here
Attorney to departing secretary: If I had known you get cake when you leave, I would have quit years ago!
Indiana
Overheard by: If only we'd known sooner…
Receptionist #1: Is tomorrow your last day?
Receptionist #2: Yes.
Receptionist #1: Good.
Park Place
Cardiff University, United Kingdom
Overheard by: stranded_in_UK
Boss: Do you live to give me shit everyday?
Employee: No, but that's a great question!
Boss: Alright, let's just put our cards on the table.
Employee: Can you beat a full house?
Bellevue, Washington
Loud office lady: I don’t need to learn no more. You know money, you know dick, you know pussy — you don’t need to know no more.
Government office, 400 Maryland Avenue SW
Washington, DC
Employee #1: I just don’t understand the point of Martin Luther King Day.
Emoloyee #2: Come on! It’s a big day! It celebrates when Martin Luther King freed the slaves.
Employee #1: That was Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. Well, it celebrates when Martin Luther King gave the Emancipation Proclamation.
Employee #1: That was also Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. I’m not very good at history.
821 Benvenue
Rocky Mount, North Carolina
Owner: Have you proposed to her yet? When are you gonna propose to that girl? You're not getting a bonus, a raise, or a review until you get down on your knees.
Employee: (smirks)
Owner: For her!
Rogers, Arkansas
Coworker, after conversation with boss: A fetus could come up with better ideas.
Melville, New York
