Coworker to another: We're a fucking team here, asshole!
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Coworker to another: We're a fucking team here, asshole!
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Boss: The thought of it makes me want to throw up, so I thought I’d give it to you.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Gee, Thanks
Cube dweller #1: How are we going to put this proposal together?
Cube dweller #2: We're going to screw it!
Woodbury, New York
Co-worker #1: Hey, what did you last night?
Co-worker #2: I wanted to watch Joey last night but the President was on. Every time I turn on the TV anymore, it’s hurricane this and hurricane that. Makes me wish the hurricane never happened!
Co-worker #1: …I think Joey was on later in the night.
Co-worker #2: Damn it!
500 Eldorado Boulevard
Broomfield, Colorado
Secretary to boss: What? The legal department is corporate?
Manhattan, New York
Girl coworker to old fashioned receptionist: Hey, I think you should remind Mike* that it's his week to do kitchen duty.
Old fashioned receptionist: I don't think I can do that. Men shouldn't have kitchen duty.
Girl coworker: But he's the bottom.
Old fashioned receptionist: What's a bottom?
Washington, DC
Boss: You're out smoking again? I thought you were quitting?
Assistant: I start taking the Chantix tomorrow morning, smoke for a week and throw the cigarettes away and double the dose.
Boss: Okay, can I give you shit for it?
Assistant: All you want, I'll be a complete bitch and make your life hell.
Boss on intercom: Everyone, you have the next 2 months off: assistant is going to be a bigger bitch than usual.
Fountain Valley, California
Cashier to saleswoman holding a box of sweets: Hey! Why didn't I get a box of sweets?
Saleswoman: Because your title isn't “manager”. He gets a hug, and maybe a little pinch on the tushy.
Bedford, New York
Overheard by: Black Friday Shopper
Chief petty officer: So, you’re saying the reservists can shoot themselves?
Training officer: Yes, but only with supervision.
Barboursville, West Virginia
Cubicle worker #1, slamming something on desk: A big cockroach just crawled across my desk.
Cubicle worker #2: Yeah, these were the desks with the roach problem.
Cubicle worker #1: Roach problem?
Cubicle worker #2: It's all Mindy's fault.
Arlington, Texas
