CFO: So what will it be like? Should I be the sheep and you the one who drags me around? Oh, here’s the check.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: just waiting for a check
CFO: So what will it be like? Should I be the sheep and you the one who drags me around? Oh, here’s the check.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: just waiting for a check
Editor: I want a story about a person.
Intern: What kind?
Editor: Oh, I don’t know. But it could be a lollipop man, who straps a rocket to the back of his lollipop, and now flies to New York in five seconds.
Edinburgh
Scotland
Boss: Who is this? You have to identify yourself — my hard drive is full!
Baltimore, Maryland
Customer: Hmmm… I want something in a waffle cone.
Salesgirl, holding cone: Okay. What would you like?
Customer: Can you do a chocolate dip with that cone?
Salesgirl: No, it’s not strong enough.
Customer: Oh. Well, can you put a small banana split in it?
Salesgirl: Uh, no.
Customer: What about a malt?
Salesgirl: No.
Customer: A milkshake?
Salesgirl: No.
Customer, irritated: Well, what can you do with it?
Salesgirl: I can put yogurt in it.
Frozen yogurt shop
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Employee #1: Hey, what’s there in your bag?
Employee #2: I’ve got some Korean salad…
Employee #1: May I–
Employee #2: –Nope, it’s only for me.
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: dieting
Employee #1: How do you like your new office? Is the glare from the lights a problem? If so, I can twist the bulbs like I did in that other office.
Employee #2: That sounds kind of kinky.
Employee #1: Yeah!
Chicago, Illinois
Boss: You have to clean your work space. It’s a mess.
Worker: The space is clear. It’s only my desk that’s a mess.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Manager to secretary: Excuse me, could you please put this in the fridge? I pity the person that tries to drink that… It looks exactly like apple juice, doesn’t it? But it’s really a urine sample I need to take to the doctor’s this afternoon…
Project Drive
Tempe, Arizona
Coworker #1: Yo! Can you send me that link again?
Coworker #2: Which one?
Coworker #1: You know, that one you sent me. With the article about the guy from My Chemical Romance.
Coworker #2: You mean Wikipedia?
Coworker #1: Yeah. I wonder what else is on there.
Internet service provider, 110 Symonds Street
Auckland
New Zealand
Lady peon: Hey, wanna get a beer after work?
Male peon: Yeah, right after I unleash hellfire on my toilet bowl…
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: I love where I work!!
