Soccer mom #1 in line, handing another $100: Here, this isn't a loan.
Soccer mom #2: Why? No sympathy for me! I had money last week, I just spent it on drugs and liquor.
Soccer mom #1: Well, maybe you'll share next time. Take it.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Tel-ler it like it is
Customer in line buying a pop: $5 for a pop? Are you serious?
Cashier, deadpan: I wish I was joking.
Customer: Fine, give me a Coke. (walks away) I feel like I've just been raped!
Molson Amphitheatre
Toronto
Canadia
Manager to employee: Even with a few billion dollars, I think that a gay Jew would have a bit of trouble getting elected pope.
Employee: They picked a Nazi last time.
Manager: Well, yes, but even a Nazi is better than a gay Jew.
Employee: I have a bumper sticker that says that.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Female coworker, after receiving text from hubby: That's 25 cents I'll never get back.
Nebraska
Overheard by: WOW
Office drone #1: Is there any money left for this?
Gay manager: No. Well, there's some money, but I can't give it all to you.
Office drone #1: Well, we need more.
Gay manager: Well, you can't have more. I'll give you half, okay?
Office drone #1: God, you are such a tight arse.
Office drone #2, in panic: You can't say that to a gay homosexual!
South Morang
Australia
Overheard by: Straight and amused.
Guy from the backseat #1: Look at that guy rolling in the car next to us, his hair all slicked back and shit. That car says he makes some serious cash.
Guy from the backseat #2: I bet he's a manager.
Guy from the backseat #1: I bet he makes enough to score aaaalll the sluts and whores, cause that's what managers do.
Rancho Bernardo, California
Overheard by: I want to be a manager, too
Coworker: I want to get in the Christmas spirit, but I just can't afford it.
Jacksonville, Florida
Trainee accountant #1, looking at payslip: Look, I pay more tax each month!
Trainee accountant #2: Where does it say that?
Trainee accountant #1: Here, look.
Trainee accountant #2: That is the cumulative total.
Trainee accountant #1: What does “cumulative” mean?
London
England
Salesman to manager: One of my customers is looking for prices on a laptop.
Manager: Okay, what is he looking for?
Salesman: A laptop.
Manager: Yes, but what is he looking for? I can get him a piece of crap for next to nothing, or a real expensive one. What is he looking for? What specifications and size is he looking for, and what extras?
Salesman: Okay, I'll find out.
(three minutes later, after phoning customer)
Salesman: He is looking for one, the size of an adult male's hands placed next to each other.
Pretoria
South Africa
