Boss: Do you smell something burning?
Everyone: No. Is something burning?
Lab manager: Oh! I smell it! Guys, do you smell something burning?
Everyone: Nope.
Lab manager: Oh, well. There might be a fire. Maybe we'll all die… Whatever.
UCSD Pathology Lab
San Diego, California
Overheard by: kittymisfit
Rite Aid employee #1: My friend died last year, he was really sick, it was sad.
Rite Aid employee #2: Yeah man, my friend from high school recently passed away too.
Rite Aid employee #3 (in a Dominican accent): Yeah, that happened to my friend too. Actually, he did not die. Someone killed him.
Rite Aid
New York, New York
Overheard by: Marie Ziskin
Doctor's assistant to doctor: How do you spell “blood”?
Scottsdale, Arizona
Nurse: You’re not a weird old lady. Stop it.
Ivyland, Pennsylvania
Hospital worker #1: Oh my God! Did you see those warts?
Hospital worker #2: No, I missed them.
Hospital worker #1: How could you miss them? Weren’t you holding the labia?
Hospital worker #2: No, that wasn’t me.
Hospital worker #1: Are you sure? I thought that was you.
Hospital Worker #2: No, I wasn’t holding any labia today.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Nurse #1: We’re short today, and so everyone is supposed to get one extra patient.
Nurse #2: I hate patients.
8260 Atlee Road
Mechanicsville, Virginia
Dental assistant: What was the name of that movie? The one about Pearl Harbor? You know, the one where they bomb Pearl Harbor?
Dentist: Um, I think it was called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: No, it was a romantic movie… Where they bomb Pearl Harbor.
Dentist: Yeah, it's called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: Oh, yeah! Pearl Harbor!
Dental Office
The Bronx, New York
Lasik tech to another: Can I borrow your eyes for a sec?
Lasik Vision Institute, California
Overheard by: blind betty
Mother: Put those toys away. Think of the other kids who come here.
Little kid #1: Yeah, we’ve gotta think of the other kids.
Little kid #2: I don’t want to think of the other kids. I only want to think about me.
Doctor’s waiting room
North Rocks, Sydney
Australia
Receptionist: Doc, there is no code for abnormal ejaculation. I looked under Abnormal & under Ejaculation. Nuthin’.
Doctor: Gimme the book.
Receptionist: What’s his problem? Minute man?
Doctor: Check under “retrograde”.
Receptionist: What does that mean? Too fast?
Doctor: Broken. He doesn’t ejaculate at all. Can’t.
838 Pelhamdale Ave
New Rochelle, NY
Overheard by: Lucky
