She Doesn’t Like Doing Either, She Just Likes Talking About Them

Nerd #1: All Brittney* talks about is food and sex.
Nerd #2: Yeah, what do you think she likes doing more: talking about eating while having sex, or talking about fucking while having lunch?

333 Pfingsten Road
Northbrook, Illinois

Overheard by: deltar

Posted on February 21, 2015
Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Gripes, Illinois, Meals and Snacks, Places, Questions, Sexuality

My Eggs Must Be Done

Woman in bathroom stall, quietly to herself: My crotch smells like bacon!

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on February 21, 2015
Body Parts, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Restroom, Sensory Experiences

Chopsticks, However, Are Better for Stabbing Bigots in the Throat

Employee #1: How’s your burger?
Asian manager, with messy burger: Good, but it’s hard to eat…
Employee #2: It would be harder to eat with chopsticks!

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on February 20, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks

This Is the End, My Only Friend, the End

Female cube dweller, to no one in particular: The grapes in the cafeteria are going soft on me.

Washington, DC

Posted on February 20, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington DC

The Law & Order Noise? Really?

IT guy: It sounds just like the snack bell, and it makes me drool every time.

Richmond, Virginia

Posted on February 19, 2015
Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences, Tech People, Virginia

Which Is Also Why I Don't File or Answer the Phone

Boss: Anyone want a croissant? I have some leftovers!
New hire: I don't eat croissants. I did once, I was nine, and I got a really bad headache.

Advertising Agency
Richmond, Virginia

Posted on February 17, 2015
Age and ageing, Bosses and Underlings, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Virginia

I Donate My Old Fashion Magazines to Them

Cube girl: I am starving suddenly. Like, Albania-starving.
Cube guy: Are people starving in Albania?
Cube girl: The anorexic ones.

350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on February 16, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Meals and Snacks, New York

And Save Some For Me

Boss who never listens: I need you to pick up the trash in the parking lot before the bank comes today.
Worker: Pork chop sandwiches!
Boss who never listens: Okay, great, let me know when you are done.

Lakewood, Washington