Clerk guy: Yeah, so we ordered a pizza last night, and the guy on the phone knew my address, get this, before I even told him!
Clerk girl: Don’t they have caller ID or something?
Clerk guy: Man, I don’t know. I was smoking a big one, and I was like, “Dude, whoa. I think the government is all watching me now.”
Clerk girl: Um, probably not.
Clerk guy: Then explain to me how they knew my address and what kind of pizza I ordered last time! Explain that!
Kmart
Temple, Texas
Overheard by: Vicky
Coworker to another who has just joined the conversation: And then we segued into Lucky Charms…
Raleigh, North Carolina
Co-worker #1: Is garlic a normal constituent of Mexican food?
Co-worker #2: It’s not unnormal.
1000 East 50th Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: SLP
Co-Worker #1: Is that ice coffee?
Co-Worker #2: Yeah.
Co-Worker #1: Does it really taste like coffee?
57th and Lexington
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kimberly A.
Male drone to female drone walking back to cubicle with a cup of coffee in each hand: Oh, double fisting. I like it!
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Veronica
Employee: Ew! You’re dousing your sandwich in tabasco sauce!
Intern: I’m dousing it in self-hatred.
4 W. Oakland Avenue
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Vivian X
Canadian: Is there anything I should know about Cuban business customs before we get started?
Translator: No.
Girl with tray of espressos walks in and hands one to each person.
Canadian: I don’t drink coffee.
Translator: You do today.
Cuban Health Ministry
Havana, Cuba
Overheard by: Drank the coffee
Coworker, eating wasabi peas: I was about to put two big ones in my mouth!
Hawthorne, New York
Office Manager: It’s like apples and oranges: they are all the same.
15530 Herriman Boulevard
Noblesville, Indiana
Female coworker #1: What does buttermilk taste like?
Female coworker #2: I like buttermilk!
Female coworker #1: Does it give you the shits?
Piscataway, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tom
