Cube dweller #1, at weekly company breakfast: Oooh, breakfast. I forgot today was breakfast day.
Cube dweller #2: They sure do know how to buy us off. They could take away our chairs and there would only be a minor grumbling, but if they took away our breakfast… Like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna be a standing agency now.’ ‘Yeah, that’s cool. Just don’t mess with my breakfast.’
233 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Cube Monkey
Associate to customer on phone about beef recall: We are only recalling meat with the dates April 28th through June 6th on it.
Customer: Well, mine is dated June 23rd. Can I eat it?
Associate: Yes, ma'am. That's not in our recall dates.
Customer: Are you sure it's safe?
Associate: Yes ma'am. That meat wasn't part of the recall.
Customer: What were the dates again?
Associate: April 28th to June 6th.
Customer: So, I won't die?
Associate: Ma'am, unless you plan on smearing it on a pig and eating it raw, you are going to be fine.
Yarmouth, Maine
Chubby peon: I’ll eat anything as long as it’s a cookie. Even if it’s frog-flavored.
Austin, Texas
TV host: I wish they'd separate my penne and my quiche.
TV producer: I know.
West Olympic Blvd
Los Angeles, California
Coworker to another: As long as I keep on getting grilled brie and paté sandwiches and have a gold-plated bidet, I don't mind being broke.
Whole Foods
Oakland, California
Overheard by: AlchemistGeorge
Office drone #1: Have you ever been to Chinatown for dim sum?
Office drone #2: Is that a drug?
Chicago, Illinois
Attorney: A partner just caught me licking yogurt off my sweater.
Clerk: You’re definitely getting another raise.
Attorney: It was right on the boob.
Clerk: Wow, a raise and a bonus. You’re a real go-getter.
717 Madison Place NW
Washington, DC
Senior-looking employee to another: So there's the men's room. Do you want coffee or tea?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: carmine
Coworker #1: Anyone want to go out to lunch with me? I'm so hungry.
Coworker #2: I can't, I brought Indian for lunch today.
Coworker #1: Man, I am so hungry I would eat an Indian right now.
Coworker #2: Do you think they taste like curry?
Coworker #1: What?
Coworker #2: Curry. You know, because they eat so much of it. Wouldn't it be ironic if they tasted like cow? Ganesh would not like that.
Coworker #1: I'm going to go get pizza.
Seattle, Washington
Guy #1: Are there any bagels left from the meeting this morning?
Guy #2: Yeah, but we're saving them to reuse for another meeting tomorrow.
Guy #1: Wait. What? We can spend $20,000 on presentation materials, but we can't spend $6 for fresh bagels?!
Woodland Park, New Jersey
