Lady: You think wearing the skin of a dead cow is cool or something? You’re promoting murder by wearing that.
Leather jacket guy: I don’t wear this because I like leather. I wear this because I hate cows. My father was gored to death by a bull. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to Burger King.
Blockbuster Video, 14936 North Florida Avenue
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Jonathon Flachlinie
Female receptionist to male receptionist: Since you're going to lunch in 20 minutes, can you fill up my water bottle?
Male receptionist: Can you blow me?
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Overheard by: gb
Waitress to another: No! There’s a reason I don’t eat the coleslaw! No!
Cafe
Salt Point, New York
Overheard by: Not eating it either
Coworker to another, finding that doughnuts are gone: You wanna just lick the box with me?
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Admin #1: I have to have my green tea to protect me from other people's colds!
Coworker: It's too early for cold season. Yes, do whatever it takes to stay healthy.
Admin #1: Yes, and I also like echinacea but dont have any.
Admin #2: Ah, I like euthanasia too.
(pause)
Admin #2: Wait, what's the difference between euthanasia and echinacea anyways?
Fairfield County, Connecticut
Co-worker #1: Is that pumpkin cream cheese?
Co-worker #2: I think so.
Co-worker #1: You mean you just blindly put that on your bagel?
Co-worker #2: What else would make it orange?
Co-worker #1: …Um…orange?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, what else is orange but pumpkin?
225 Bush Street
San Francisco, California
Accountant, about a bruised banana: Oh, was it beating around in your bush?
Toronto
Canadia
Cube rat #1: Um… Where’d they put the fridge that was here?
Cube rat #2: I don’t know, but I had juice in there. With vodka in it.
63rd Street and Broadway
New York, New York
Manager on cell: That thing could kiss your ass and buy you dinner, and you'd still bitch about it!
St. Louis, Missouri
Peon: Oh, you're going downstairs? Can I get a fag yogurt?
Manager: A… what?
Peon: A fag yogurt. (pause) Well, it's spelled f-a-g-e but we pronounce it the other… way. It's kind of… funny. (long pause) Am I fired?
Manhattan, New York
