Father to son about to eat crayons: No, no, no! Crayons aren't for eating!
Four-year-old boy: But I eat them at school!
Everett, Washington
Overheard by: Hopes their food comes up soon
Father to son about to eat crayons: No, no, no! Crayons aren't for eating!
Four-year-old boy: But I eat them at school!
Everett, Washington
Overheard by: Hopes their food comes up soon
Customer: How many pieces of chicken are in the 12-piece meal?
Employee: Are you fucking with me?
Thornton, Colorado
Female peon: I love eating a rare steak and then sopping up all the juice with some bread.
Male peon: You know what I like? To puncture a hole in a small animal that runs by my house and catch the blood like a fountain.
Female peon: Um, yeah, that would work, too.
4653 Cotton Gin Loop
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: RebeccaB
Admin on phone: …and the baby smelled like fried chicken!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Female coworker, raiding candy bowl on guys desk: How do you stay away from this candy all day?
Male coworker: I thought you were a nut girl.
Female coworker: I am, but sometimes I need my hard sweets.
Little Rock, Arkansas
Female coworker, coughing: I didn't know if I got another STD or what… (pause) Would you like a cupcake? It's homemade!
Fredericksburg, Virginia
CFO, looking for chocolate: It looks like a goddess with flaming hair or an upside-down horse.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Natalie
Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…
Alexandria, Virginia
Office girl #1: I don’t like lettuce.
Office girl #2: You don’t eat lettuce? Why’d you get a salad?
Office girl #1: Because I need to lose weight! I’m getting fat!
Office girl #2: What else is that in your salad?
Office girl #1: Chicken.
Office girl #2: Grilled or fried?
Office girl #1: Ummm… Fried…
Office girl #2: Uh-huh… Is that cheese I see in there?
Office girl #1: Yes!
Office girl #2: And are those Bacon Bits?
Office girl #1: Shut up! And no, it’s real bacon!
Office girl #2: And you aren’t gonna eat the lettuce?
Office girl #1: I will stab you with my fork! Go away!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker #1: Dammit, I wanted Tao chai.
Coworker #2: What's stopping you?
Coworker #1: I'm already tea-bagging.
W 26th St
New York City, New York
