Female coworker, coughing: I didn't know if I got another STD or what… (pause) Would you like a cupcake? It's homemade!
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Female coworker, coughing: I didn't know if I got another STD or what… (pause) Would you like a cupcake? It's homemade!
Fredericksburg, Virginia
CFO, looking for chocolate: It looks like a goddess with flaming hair or an upside-down horse.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Natalie
Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…
Alexandria, Virginia
Office girl #1: I don’t like lettuce.
Office girl #2: You don’t eat lettuce? Why’d you get a salad?
Office girl #1: Because I need to lose weight! I’m getting fat!
Office girl #2: What else is that in your salad?
Office girl #1: Chicken.
Office girl #2: Grilled or fried?
Office girl #1: Ummm… Fried…
Office girl #2: Uh-huh… Is that cheese I see in there?
Office girl #1: Yes!
Office girl #2: And are those Bacon Bits?
Office girl #1: Shut up! And no, it’s real bacon!
Office girl #2: And you aren’t gonna eat the lettuce?
Office girl #1: I will stab you with my fork! Go away!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker #1: Dammit, I wanted Tao chai.
Coworker #2: What's stopping you?
Coworker #1: I'm already tea-bagging.
W 26th St
New York City, New York
Cashier to saleswoman holding a box of sweets: Hey! Why didn't I get a box of sweets?
Saleswoman: Because your title isn't “manager”. He gets a hug, and maybe a little pinch on the tushy.
Bedford, New York
Overheard by: Black Friday Shopper
Coworker, discussing mint Oreos: I stuffed four of them in this morning.
Boss: Can you stuff six?
Coworker: I don't know. Maybe not at once.
Baltimore, Maryland
Man: We’re gonna make some bratwurst.
Woman #1: What’s the difference between sausage and bratwurst?
Woman #2: Well, bratwurst is German.
Woman #1: So they’re just German pigs?
Company picnic
Montclair, New Jersey
Cube dweller #1: Did you like the cookies Tom handed out yesterday?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, they were real good.
Cube dweller #3: I liked them.
Cube dweller #1: I love moist cookies. They really excite me!
Herndon, Virginia
Boss: These cookies are good. Tastes like there's Ex-lax in 'em.
Charleston, South Carolina
