Only the Ones With Hearing Aids

Two nursing assistants were feeding old men at the home.

Nursing assistant #1: Wow, you’re a really awesome chewer.
Nursing assistant #2: I bet you say that to all the guys.

694 Isaac Prugh Way
Kettering, Ohio

Posted on October 23, 2017
Insults, Meals and Snacks, Medical, Nurses, Ohio, Possible Sexual Harassment

Sign: Don't Bother the Employees at Feeding Time

Cube monkey, eating alone at desk and coughing: Quit trying to eat yourself!

Overland Park, Kansas

Posted on October 16, 2017
Employees, Health & Hygiene, Kansas, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness

You Need More Women Friends, Bonnie

Office girl: Dude, I took a weird deuce this morning!
Office guy: What? How?
Office girl: Have you ever seen anyone make a funnel cake?

Durham, North Carolina

Posted on October 13, 2017
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina, Questions

Note to Self: Start Packing Billy a Lunch.

Father to son about to eat crayons: No, no, no! Crayons aren't for eating!
Four-year-old boy: But I eat them at school!

Everett, Washington

Overheard by: Hopes their food comes up soon

Posted on October 12, 2017
Education, Family, Kids, Meals and Snacks, Parents, Washington, Weirdness

I Asked You First

Customer: How many pieces of chicken are in the 12-piece meal?
Employee: Are you fucking with me?

Thornton, Colorado

Posted on October 9, 2017
Colorado, Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Insults, Meals and Snacks, Questions

Another Tip from My Big Book of Rainy-Day Activities

Female peon: I love eating a rare steak and then sopping up all the juice with some bread.
Male peon: You know what I like? To puncture a hole in a small animal that runs by my house and catch the blood like a fountain.
Female peon: Um, yeah, that would work, too.

4653 Cotton Gin Loop
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: RebeccaB

Posted on September 27, 2017
Arizona, Creepsters, Meals and Snacks

The Colonel's Demon-Spawn Lives on in Michigan

Admin on phone: …and the baby smelled like fried chicken!

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on September 21, 2017
Admins, Animals, Compare and contrast, Meals and Snacks, Michigan, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

…Don't You Ever Just Need Something to Suck On?

Female coworker, raiding candy bowl on guys desk: How do you stay away from this candy all day?
Male coworker: I thought you were a nut girl.
Female coworker: I am, but sometimes I need my hard sweets.

Little Rock, Arkansas