Office gossip: He thinks he's so cool–he's like white on rice!
Austin, Texas
Office gossip: He thinks he's so cool–he's like white on rice!
Austin, Texas
Cop: Oh my god! This peanut butter pie is so good, I just want to rub it all over my ass and dance around the lobby!
Tanner Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Xtina
HR supervisor on phone: He called me the other day all worried because she was running out of food. I told him: she has all those animals and she likes to wring their necks…
Fontana, California
Overheard by: Aeirlys
Cube rat #1: Hey, come look at this! The way Firefox cuts off the wording on my tab spells out “web anal”!
Cube rat #2: What? What are you talking about?
Cube rat #1: Seriously. Instead of “web analytics,” it just says “web anal.” that cracks me up!
Cube rat #3: Hey, I'm actually with him on this one. I'm looking up a recipe right now to make my girlfriend for dinner, and coincidentally my tab says “basil bals” for “basil balsamic vinaigrette.” You gotta admit it's funny.
Cube rat #2: You two have no idea how much I hate you guys.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Manager: If you give me Tater Tots for breakfast… Shit yeah, I'll eat em!
Culver City, California
Cashier, answering phone: Hello, Baker’s Square. [Pause.]Cashier, incredulous: Do we sell pies? [Pause.]Cashier, boastful: We were voted best pies in the world, we entered a contest and won. [Pause.]Cashier, sober: Yes, we sell pies. [Pause.]Cashier, indignant: A barbecue pie? I never heard of such a thing in my entire life. [Pause.]Cashier, impatient: Ma’am, did you have a specific question? I’m pretty busy. [Pause.]Cashier, puzzled: [Hangs up.]
Silicon Valley, California
Overheard by: My Good Ear
Manager: I really do smell hickory smoked!
Denver, Colorado
Analyst #1: We need something to make this tea better.
Analyst #2: Have you tried rum?
10 minutes later.
Analyst #1: Do you have any more rum?
Analyst #3: It’s ten in the morning.
225 High Ridge Road
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: QRC
Businessman: Can I get a decaf cappuccino?
Waiter: Actually, we only have regular cappuccino here.
Businessman: Okay, I'll have one of those, just give me your phone number so I have somebody to talk to when I can't sleep tonight.
State Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Intern #1: Sorry, I can't go out tonight. I have to get a tattoo.
Intern #2: Oh, what are you getting?
Intern #1: This proverb: “time wasted can never be reclaimed.”
Intern #2: That's deep.
Intern #1: Yeah, it was between that and a lollipop on my hand. But I did a Twitter poll and they voted on the proverb.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Hanly
