12PM Work on Budgets

Project Manager: I can’t get my numbers to balance with yours.
Budget Analyst: How much are you off by?
Project Manager: About a million.

5000 Ellin Road
Lanham, Maryland

Overheard by: Cantabile

Posted on December 31, 2014
Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Maryland, Questions, Suits

Complaining Is Her Cardio.

Office girl #1: I wish Chinese places would deliver around here!
Office girl #2: They do. You have to pay a service fee but they will bring you food.
Office girl #1: But I don't live around here, so how does that help me?

Maryland

Posted on December 31, 2014
Employees, General Idiocy, Maryland, Money, Questions, Wishes

It’s Quite Possible That Women Have Dirtier Minds Than Men

Female coworker: Why do you shake your mustard like that?
Male coworker: To mix it up real good so I don’t get the pre-mustard on my sandwich.
Female coworker: I am never eating lunch with you again.

West Lexington Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on December 30, 2014
Coworkers, Maryland, Meals and Snacks

Fine, but Why'd We Have to Strip?

Technician, while taking group picture: Okay, everyone gather together and pretend that you're happy!
Advisor: What?!
Technician: Um… Picture time! Yay!

Johns Hopkins University
Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on December 27, 2014
Education, Employees, Feelings, Lies, Maryland, Tech People

But, As Interns Go, She’s Pretty Good

Sales rep to customer on phone: Of course the pupils are going to be shaped differently than that of a human…

Owings Mills, Maryland

Overheard by: widget

Posted on December 19, 2014
Animals, Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Maryland, On the phone, Retail, Sales

Are You As Turned on As I Am?

Boss to client worried about the stock market: I ride it up, I ride it down, I pull it out, it goes up, now I'm chasing its tail.

Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: A little disgusted

Posted on December 14, 2014
Bosses, Customers, Maryland, Money, Weirdness

We Have No Words.

Production manager: I'm going to kick some Chinese ass!
Entry woman: Knock their slanty eyes straight!

Essex, Maryland

Overheard by: NOT a racist

Posted on December 10, 2014
Body Parts, Bosses, Employees, Maryland, Race, Threats, Violence

4PM This Day is So Over

Hospital worker #1: Oh my God! Did you see those warts?
Hospital worker #2: No, I missed them.
Hospital worker #1: How could you miss them? Weren’t you holding the labia?
Hospital worker #2: No, that wasn’t me.
Hospital worker #1: Are you sure? I thought that was you.
Hospital Worker #2: No, I wasn’t holding any labia today.

100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland

Posted on December 8, 2014
Body Parts, Coworkers, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Maryland, Medical

With No Yeast?

Employee: Hi! Can I help you?
Woman: Can I have a six-inch BLT on Italian?
Employee: I’m sorry, we’re out of Italian.
Woman: Can I just have white bread?
Employee: That’s the same as Italian.
Woman: Do you have plain bread?

13600 Solomons Island Road
Solomons, Maryland

Overheard by: I hate Jared.

Posted on November 29, 2014
Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Maryland, Meals and Snacks

Thumb. Thanks for Asking

Author: I don’t know. Some of the edits don’t really work for me. What do you think?
Editor: Well, speaking as a completely biased party, I think it’s great.
Author: … You’re sure?
Editor: Absolutely, you bonehead. Can we put it to print now, or are you going to keep your thumb up your ass a while longer?

Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Ren

Posted on November 29, 2014
Consultants, Insults, Maryland