Managing editor on speakerphone: Do you know how to adjust columns in Excel?
Assistant: No…
Managing editor: What do you know?
Assistant: Um… I know that when a man and a woman get together, they–
Managing editor: –Come to my office.
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Co-worker #1: What did that guy do? Why is he a prisoner?
Co-worker #2: I don’t know. I asked him, and all he said was, “It’s a long story.” Who knows? He’s probably a child molester or something.
Co-worker #3: Maybe he had sex with a horse or something.
Co-worker #1: I don’t know, I would think that would be a relatively short story. Like a one-liner.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Customer: And what are your hours?
Leasing rep: We’re open from 10 to 6.
Customer: So could I do 6:30?
Leasing rep: No, we close at 6.
Customer: Oh, okay, I guess that’ll work then.
Randallstown, Maryland
Overheard by: tkap
Customer: I know you wouldn’t carry Jell-O, but do you have something exactly like it but called something else?
Whole Foods
Silver Spring, Maryland
Editor: Did you see the paint in Jenny's new office?
Designer: Whoa! It looks like a doctor's office in a third world country in here.
Southern Maryland
Overheard by: has a good paint job
Salesman: Hello, Nicole*.
Receptionist, collapsing on the floor: Oh my god! I’m throwing myself off the building!
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Temporary Receptionist
Senior research analyst in the elevator: Someone’s all cologned up in here.
Team leader: I think most of us are. We’re a good smelling team.
4833 Rugby Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland
Cube rat #1: I can’t explain my parents. They will have a problem with me dating a black guy, but the funny thing is my sister married a Jewish guy and they don’t seem to care. And, you know, what’s the difference between a black man and a white man? It’s just different skin colors. But there are real differences between Christian and Jewish people.
Cube rat #2: You’re absolutely right. Jewish people go to church on Saturday.
Cube rat #11: That’s right.
Cube rat #12: And they peel their food.
Madison Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: People in the Sun
Legal eagle #1: What’s this little ‘C’ in a circle next to a year supposed to mean?
Legal eagle #2: That’s the year the company that published that got its corporate seal.
Legal eagle #1: Oh, okay.
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
CSR: Would you like to try it in your mouth?
4700 River Road
Riverdale, Maryland
