It’s Where the Porn Stars Go

Manager: Yeah, so at this new salon I can get my hair highlighted for $120, and that includes the shampoo, haircut, and blow job.

Bethesda, Maryland

Posted on April 29, 2023
Bosses, Gossip, Maryland, Money, Physical Appearance, Places, Sexuality

I Have to Go Change My Pants

Intern: Lou* just said he really likes my sense of humor! He said I’m self-defecating! Can you believe it? Lou thinks I’m self-defecating — he thinks I sit in my own shit! Lou’s so cool.
Lou, two cubes away: I said ‘self-deprecating,’ you idiot.
Intern: Oh.

6707 Democracy Boulevard
Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: One cubicle over

Posted on December 31, 2022
Insults, Interns & Temps, Maryland

1PM Lunch

Broker: I’m going to grab some lunch; if my wife calls, tell her I’m not going down tonight. She’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.

250 West Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on December 12, 2022
Family, Financial Folk, Gripes, Maryland, Meals and Snacks, Time Management

And He Said, “I’d Prefer Reparations”

White HR director: I’ve never touched someone’s head like that before! I touched it, and it was all wavy. I told him, you’re the first African-American person’s head I’ve ever touched. You should feel honored.

8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Just an office girl…

Posted on November 24, 2022
DC and Mid-Atlantic, General Idiocy, Human Resources, Maryland, Race, United States

But Now, of Course, There’s a Manual

CEO on sales pitch: When businesses first started creating web pages on the internet, it was kind of like having sex with your daughter — everyone was talking about it, but nobody really knew what they were doing.
Prospective client: Well… My daughter is eight, so I don’t think she’s having sex with anybody.

8737 Colesville Road
Silver Spring, Maryland

Posted on November 14, 2022
Executives, Maryland, Possible Sexual Harassment

Or to Practice Your Marilyn Monroe Poses With

Admin chick: Here's a fan for your office.
PhD Chick: What's this for? To like cool me off?

Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on September 25, 2022
Admins, Coworkers, Default, Maryland, Offers and requests, Questions

Let Me Just Set Up the Webcam

Paralegal: So, should I go ahead and do a dump on the computer?

Seneca Meadows Parkway
Germantown, Maryland

Posted on August 18, 2022
Admins, Maryland, Questions

And Location Independent!

Employee on phone: I was just calling to confirm that we can show your house all this weekend. I know you don’t usually show on Saturdays, but since you’ll be out of town for the weekend, can we show on Saturday also?
Eccentric homeowner: Oh, no! The Sabbath is for eternity!

Real estate office
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: K the Amazing Receptionist