Guy: Facedown in cement… it just doesn’t do you any good.
Applied Physics Lab
Maryland
Overheard by: scared
Guy: Facedown in cement… it just doesn’t do you any good.
Applied Physics Lab
Maryland
Overheard by: scared
Customer: Wow, you must be in high demand this time of year.
Employee: I guess so.
Customer: Oh, I meant the store. Not you.
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: party rental stores are no party
Customer: Does this come in black?
Store clerk: Yes. [walks off]
Department store, Rockville Pike
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Ditz: I’d really like to pursue my acting and singing career. I think I’m really good at that.
Dad: [Nods]Ditz: But if that doesn’t work out I could always be a marine biologist. But you know? I’d really rather keep working at Target. It smells sooo good.
TGI Friday’s
Frederick, Maryland
CEO: I read a study that said that 50% of Canadians disapprove of Americans.
Employee: Yeah, I guess they just don’t agree with many of the US’s recent actions.
CEO: No, it’s because they’re jealous of Americans.
Employee: Err, that’s perhaps a somewhat US-centric view…
CEO: I’ve been to Canada. I’ve seen it firsthand. They are very jealous of us.
Employee: Actually, now that you mention it, I’m surprised it was only 50%.
Frederick, Maryland
Overheard by: poj
Co-Worker #1: Hey, what budget number should we use for this? The old one or the new one?
Co-Worker #2: What does that email you printed out and pinned to your wall say?
Co-Worker #1: It says I should use the new one.
Co-Worker #2: Then I think you should use the new one.
Co-Worker #1: Cool, thanks!
Co-Worker #2: No problem.
5201 Paint Branch Parkway
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: i’m glad i don’t work there anymore
Director: If I mail underwear, I’ll get fired.
Direct mail department of a conservative Catholic organization
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Chuckles to Himself
Partner #1: The real cute one?
Partner #2: Yeah.
Partner #1: Yeah, she’s married.
Partner #2: Damn it!
Partner #3: That’s how I like ’em. cute, and married.
222 Severn Avenue
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Tits McGee
CIO: So, we’re okay now?
Manager: No, we still have problems, but they’re higher quality problems.
5000 Ellin Road
Lanham, Maryland
Overheard by: Cantabile
Administrator: [Les], do you have any overdue surveys?
[Les]: No, I don’t.
Administrator: You don’t have any surveys due before the 26th?
[Les]: No, the only surveys I have were due on the 23rd and the 24th.
811 Russell Avenue
Gaithersburg, Maryland
