Mother to son behind the curtain: If you don’t behave, I’m not going to take you to the hospital ever again.
Franklin Square Hospital
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Brain Surgeon
Mother to son behind the curtain: If you don’t behave, I’m not going to take you to the hospital ever again.
Franklin Square Hospital
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Brain Surgeon
Female coworker: Well, I guess I hadn’t thought it out so thoroughly.
Male coworker: Yeah, and the hookers were like, ‘Woo-hoo, market share!’
Chevy Chase, Building 4
Maryland
Overheard by: Xen
Coworker: So, this woman at my church just had twins, except she had three of them.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: fly on the wall
Girl exiting bathroom: Coffee makes my pee smell funny.
1000 Hilltop Circle
Baltimore, Maryland
Manager to waiter: What are you doing up here? Go in the fucking kitchen so I can fucking beat your ass.
Italian Restaurant
Olney, Maryland
Guy: Facedown in cement… it just doesn’t do you any good.
Applied Physics Lab
Maryland
Overheard by: scared
Customer: Wow, you must be in high demand this time of year.
Employee: I guess so.
Customer: Oh, I meant the store. Not you.
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: party rental stores are no party
Customer: Does this come in black?
Store clerk: Yes. [walks off]
Department store, Rockville Pike
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Ditz: I’d really like to pursue my acting and singing career. I think I’m really good at that.
Dad: [Nods]Ditz: But if that doesn’t work out I could always be a marine biologist. But you know? I’d really rather keep working at Target. It smells sooo good.
TGI Friday’s
Frederick, Maryland
CEO: I read a study that said that 50% of Canadians disapprove of Americans.
Employee: Yeah, I guess they just don’t agree with many of the US’s recent actions.
CEO: No, it’s because they’re jealous of Americans.
Employee: Err, that’s perhaps a somewhat US-centric view…
CEO: I’ve been to Canada. I’ve seen it firsthand. They are very jealous of us.
Employee: Actually, now that you mention it, I’m surprised it was only 50%.
Frederick, Maryland
Overheard by: poj
