By ‘Dyke’ You Mean She Has Sex with Men Who Aren’t You?

Contractor: That hairy-legged bitch.
Manceptionist: Oh yeah, she’s a fucking dyke. That’s why she has a bastard child.

3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 2, 2015
Gossip, Insults, Pennsylvania, Receptionists

My Father’s Father is a Lesbian

Two maintenance guys arrive to vacuum a cubicle after part of the ceiling fell.

Maintenance guy, 40s: See, he’s what you’d call a male chauvinist pig. He thinks vacuuming is something that a woman should do. Now, I don’t look like no woman.
Maintenance guy, 20s: No, but you look like a dyke.
Maintenance guy, 40s: I look like a dyke?
Maintenance guy, 20s: Easy, Grandpa, easy!
Maintenance guy, 40s: Oh, I’m Grandpa now?

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on March 1, 2015
Blue Collar, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Insults, New York

Just When You Thought None Of Your Co-workers Gave a Shit…

Woman in accounting who's trying to stop using profanity: Why isn't my computer working? Why won't you print my shit? (pause) Shit! (pause) Dammit!

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Posted on February 27, 2015
Anger management, Employees, Insults, North Carolina, Technology

Didn't Isaiah Washington Have This Conversation with ABC a While Back?

Staying coworker: Now that you're leaving, we're going to have to work twice as hard.
Leaving worker: I know, you have to take advantage of the opportunity. Just like I'm going to start being a dick to everyone.

Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Overheard by: DIV

Posted on February 27, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Insults, North Carolina

Spell Check Forces You to Be Humble

Social worker: Crap! I spelled “I am” wrong!

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on February 25, 2015
Employees, General Idiocy, Illinois, Insults, Words

What Can I say, it Gets his Wife hot

Coworker on phone: You’d be an amazing human being if you brought me some nibbles on your way here. If not, then you’re clearly the mongoloid I always suspected you to be.

401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona

Posted on February 24, 2015
Arizona, Coworkers, Dumb Bosses, Insults, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, On the phone

How Hard Is It to Remember My Name Is Also Devon?

IT chick: Hey, where’s my homies?
Admin: What homies?
IT chick: Devon* and the little guy.
Admin, incredulous: There’s a little guy?!
Little guy in corner, quietly: Thanks.

3559 Belgium Lane
San Antonio, Texas

Posted on February 23, 2015
Coworkers, Insults, Texas

I Had An…uh…Lobotomy, Redux

In a meeting: Providers only terminate their contracts for one of two reasons: Pay or Other.

At a bar with a friend: You know, I was diagnosed as a genius as a child and I think that is why I don’t get along with her; I don’t get along with other geniuses. That is why I think you and I are such good friends.

In response to an email: Ya know, I have tracking on this, and as usual, I am completely embarrassed.

[Bonus: found in coworker’s personal ad: Things that turn me on: Thunderstorms]

522 SW 5th
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Breanna Freeman