Coworker #1: I feel like going down to Grand Central and hanging out.
Coworker #2: There is a name for people like that.
Coworker #1: What’s that.
Coworker #2: “Hooker.”
Port Chester, New York
Seven-year-old coworker's daughter: You're a loser!
28-year-old office worker: Well, you're Barack Obama!
Seven-year-old coworker's daughter: You're John McCain!
28-year-old office worker: You're Sarah Palin!
Seven-year-old coworker's daughter: Well…you're Ashley Tisdale!!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: three_eyed_fish
Peon, slamming down phone: That client is so goddamn dumb! I swear to god, every time I talk to him, I get more and more stupider.
International Finance Centre
Hong Kong
Coworker #1: What else would you have been called?
Coworker #2: I was supposed to be Amy if I was a girl.
Coworker #1: Really?
Coworker #2: Yeah. I would've been a real little slut too.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: ttg
Older saleswoman, picking up the phone: Hello, this is Sue. How may I help you? Yes? Oh, no! Oh, dear! Definitely! Absolutely, just bring it on in and I’ll take care of it for you. No problem! I’m soooo sorry. I am so, so, so sorry!! [Hangs up phone.] I’m sorry your mother was a prostitute.
Department Store
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: lisa
Coworker: Wow! Those are some shiny shoes! You know, it’s a good thing to have shiny shoes because people are more likely to be enthralled by your feet and less likely to notice your incompetence.
Elevator, Office building
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: checking own feet
Contractor: That hairy-legged bitch.
Manceptionist: Oh yeah, she’s a fucking dyke. That’s why she has a bastard child.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Two maintenance guys arrive to vacuum a cubicle after part of the ceiling fell.
Maintenance guy, 40s: See, he’s what you’d call a male chauvinist pig. He thinks vacuuming is something that a woman should do. Now, I don’t look like no woman.
Maintenance guy, 20s: No, but you look like a dyke.
Maintenance guy, 40s: I look like a dyke?
Maintenance guy, 20s: Easy, Grandpa, easy!
Maintenance guy, 40s: Oh, I’m Grandpa now?
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Woman in accounting who's trying to stop using profanity: Why isn't my computer working? Why won't you print my shit? (pause) Shit! (pause) Dammit!
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Staying coworker: Now that you're leaving, we're going to have to work twice as hard.
Leaving worker: I know, you have to take advantage of the opportunity. Just like I'm going to start being a dick to everyone.
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: DIV
