Worker#1: Give me some jellybeans.
Worker#2: Fuck you! (pause) And don't call me jellybeans.
Clifton, New Jersey
Worker#1: Give me some jellybeans.
Worker#2: Fuck you! (pause) And don't call me jellybeans.
Clifton, New Jersey
Student on phone: Sir, as a current student at XYZ College*, I know I can talk to you about all the improvements that we’ve made since you attended…. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. No… No, I didn’t realize you hated XYZ. I will be sure to tell him that… Repeat after you? Sir, please… I promise I’ll tell him… Okay, sir, I’ll tell him that you said that everyone at this school can fuck themselves and suck your 70-year-old balls… Thank you. You have a good night, too, sir.
515 Loudon Road
Loudonville, New York
Overheard by: trying not to laugh while on the phone
Annoying female worker: I feel so left out… Can I just move my desk next to yours?
Manager: Absolutely not.
Howard Street
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Drone
Coworker #1: She was such a bitch to me for no reason! I think I’m beginning to hate people.
Coworker #2: You used to like people before working here? That’s so freakin’ cute!
430 W Vine Street
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: I Heart Condescension
Head of security: There's nothing wrong with having an expanded vocabulary.
Chief engineer: I fuckin' love it!
Boston, Massachusetts
Project Manager: What’s that band-aid on your neck for?
Owner: I had a melanoma removed.
Worker: Oh, I thought you were on the patch, but I didn’t know they made a patch for “Asshole”.
Owner: No, it’s for hemorrhoids. I’m going to disappear.
8929 Rosedale Highway
Bakersfield, California
Consultant: Oh my god, sorry! I'm slow. And like… dumb.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: meeting jockey
General manager to sales guy: You are such a candy-assed, chicken-shit, pansy son of a gun!
Warehouse manager to sales guy: Dude, I’ve dated girls that are more of a man than you are!
Receptionist to warehouse manager: Yeah, but you’re from Jersey.
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
Working girl #1: So, I’ve decided I’m going to get a tattoo of dolphins around my belly button.
Working girl #2: But if you get pregnant, won’t they look like… whales?
Main Street
Columbia, South Carolina
