20-something girl, handing over papers: These ones are re-do's.
50-something Indian man: Why?
20-something girl: Because they were crying.
50-something Indian man: Oh, boy.
20-something girl: At least no one threw up on us this year.
North Brunswick, New Jersey
Resident: Patient was seen today at his home. He’s still complaining that the beams from Oregon are bothering him, but he said they aren’t affecting him too badly right now. In fact, he said that they don’t affect men too much in general – it’s really women who should be worried about the beams, especially, he said, when they’re aimed at women’s private boxes.
Social worker: Did you just say private boxes?
Psychiatric clinic
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Office assistant: Do you want me to send out the “Save the Date” announcement?
Boss: Yes, thanks. That would be helpful.
Office assistant: No problem! I’m happy to spread your STD around!
Boss: [Blank stare.]Office assistant: That sounded bad. But don’t worry… I’m sure no one heard me.
Point Street
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: I Thought This Was a Healthcare Company
Nursing home resident, about stuffed cow: Pepper had a baby!
Staff: What's his name?
Resident: Pepper pea!
Staff: How's the baby doing?
Resident: He's peeing everywhere!
Staff: I thought Pepper was a boy.
Resident: He is.
Staff: Then how did Pepper have a baby?
Resident: That's what I'd like to know!
Greenwood, South Carolina
Overheard by: Dana
Male coworker in all-male meeting: I don’t know where Jill* is. She is pregnant. Maybe she’s palpitating.
Spartanburg, South Carolina
Overheard by: Grammatically Stunned
Woman with bandaged finger: Ever since I cut my finger, it’s been so difficult doing stuff…typing, getting dressed, eating…
Woman with missing hand: I can’t even imagine.
1515 Broadway
New York, NY
CEO: A man in my position has a high tolerance for other people’s pain.
110 E. Clayton Street
Athens, Georgia
Distracted doctor: What did you say you inserted into her vagina?
1500 E. Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Office Manager: I have to leave to go to physical therapy. I’m not sure how long it will take but I’ll definitely be back before I leave.
1230 York Avenue
New York, NY
Receptionist: Were you here on Tuesday? The smell was awful.
Worker Bee: I kind of liked it, it reminds me of my days as a firefighter.
Receptionist: I didn’t know you’re a fireman?!
Worker Bee: Well, it was in Boy Scout camp…a long time ago.
810 Seventh Ave
