Sunday school teacher: How’s that new little kitten of yours?
Priest: She’s doing well. We’re taking her over to the vet tomorrow to be spayed.
Child #1: What’s spayed?
Child #2: That’s when they take off her overalls so she can’t have babies.
Joliet, Montana
Cube dweller #1: Achooooooo! Oh my gosh, I just sneezed so hard my chair moved backwards!
Cube dweller #2: At least you didn't tinkle in your panties!
Charleston, South Carolina
Male worker to supervisor complaining about noise: Oh, I'm sorry. Are we interrupting the interesting conversation about your cancer dog?
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Coworker, very matter-of-factly: Well, that's why I don't have stomach problems. I don't watch the news, I don't read the paper, and the only financial thing I watch is my bank account.
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: The receptionist hears the craziest stuff
Female account manager: So I'm going to lunch with a guy that does female Viagra…
Female marketing director: What do you mean he does female Viagra?
Quiet Office, 5th Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: i heard that!
Female co-worker #1: So, I watched this special on TV about how some people are born with two distinct sets of DNA. They had a guy on it that was half white and half black.
Female co-worker #2: Having one black nut and one white nut would be awesome.
Female co-worker #1: Um, yeah.
2600 McHale Court
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: John da peon
Student teaching CPR: They're unconscious. They won't know what's going on, so it's all good.
Leesburg, Virginia
Cougar colleague: It was so embarrassing–I was putting cream on my buns…
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Ditzy office manager to coworker: I think I just had, what do you call it, a brain hernia…
San Bernardino, California
Overheard by: Mister Chief
Lawyer #1: I have a buddy who wears a surgical mask when he flies.
Lawyer #2: That’s crazy.
Lawyer #1: No it’s not.
Lawyer #3: Wait. That’s not crazy, but I’m crazy for not shaking your hand after you put it down your pants?
Lawyer #1: My hand was outside my underwear!
Constitution Avenue
Washington, DC
