Minister: At least I know where I'm going when I die… Heaven.
Drunk worker: Yeah, I'm going there too.
Minister: You gotta change first.
Drunk worker: I know, I just did…

Jacksonville, Florida

Overheard by: Derrick McClure

Chaplain: Oh! I need to turn my vibrator up!

Hospice Company
Dallas, Texas

Sunday school teacher: How’s that new little kitten of yours?
Priest: She’s doing well. We’re taking her over to the vet tomorrow to be spayed.
Child #1: What’s spayed?
Child #2: That’s when they take off her overalls so she can’t have babies.

Joliet, Montana

Assistant bishop: What the hell?! I can’t get any damned work done around here!

Salem, Virginia

Overheard by: only agnostic in the office

Priest: … And, as always, during the collection– Is there anyone to do the collection? Lock the doors — nobody gets out.

2026 Guadalupe Street
Austin, Texas