Security guard: I don't remember you ever not being pregnant.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Security guard: I don't remember you ever not being pregnant.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Mental Health Advisor: He’s crazy. He’s gone off his meds because he thinks the doctors are trying to shrink his penis.
240 Calhoun Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Intern: I need to get some sun… so I can get laid. I mean, cancer or celibacy?
Office manager: Cancer!
212 3rd Avenue North
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Sad, but True
Worker #1: How are you feeling? Coming down with anything?
Worker #2: No, but it seems like everyone else is.
Worker #1: If you get sick, I’m a doctor so I can take care of you.
I’ve got a BS, a CS and a DD. That’s a degree in Back Stabbing, Cork-Screwing, and Double-Dealing
2320 West Highway 76
Branson, Missouri
Female office worker #1: I had a job stuffing envelopes and it destroyed my cuticles.
Female office worker #2: Yeah, I had one where I had to fold letters all day and I got a ton of paper cuts.
Only male in department: Oh, I have a story about a bloody hand job.
Troy, New York
Overheard by: Sneaker
Training instructor: You should not upgrade the software right when a patch comes out. Sometimes it may have bugs.
Student: So, it’s like when you take a drug, sometimes it can have side effects like—
Training instructor: Yeah, but let’s keep the discussion focused on software.
Student: —Throwing up, vomiting…
Training instructor: Uh, yeah.
Madison, Alabama
Worker #1: But the nice thing is, this way, you can get up from your desk for a while.
Worker #2: Yeah…I could really use some blood in my ass.
1855 South Grant Street
San Mateo, California
Female office worker: My mother's having surgery to remove a tumor in her breast today, so count me out for the lunch meeting, I'm going to wait for a phone call on her condition.
Male office worker (uncomfortably): Uh, I hope she's ok. Have you heard from Chris today?
Female office worker: No, he's coming in, right?
Male office worker: As far as I know, hope he doesn't have breast cancer.
Law Firm
New York City, New York
Employee #1: What shavers do you use?
Employee #2: I use #1 on the face and #2 on my head
Employee #3: You take #1 to the face and #2 on the head?
251 Consumers Road
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Senior editor to junior editor: Sure, he's a great writer. But he drinks his own pee.
Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia
