Younger coworker: Oh, had her water broken?
Grandmotherly coworker: No, not yet.
Younger coworker: So, what was all the liquid then?
Grandmotherly coworker: I don't know. She's just juicy, I guess.
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: Sorry I caught up with them
Coworker: Yeah, I used to self-diagnose diseases when I studied pathology at uni. Once I thought I had lupus, but turns out I'm just allergic to Garnier facial scrub.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: kerryrosenora
Man smoking outside office door: What year is this anyway? It’s 2006, isn’t it?
Goswell Road
London
England
Overheard by: Ava
Assistant: She says “I lost 145 pounds!” and I'm all “well, of course you did. You gave birth”.
Baltimore, Maryland
Coworker #1: Well, I got some good news and some bad news last night.
Coworker #2: Let me guess… your stepdaughter’s moving out, but she’s pregnant.
Coworker #1: Oh my God, you’re so close! My stepdaughter’s moving out and my eighteen-year-old son’s girlfriend is pregnant.
Coworker #2: Wow, what luck.
1649 Pandosy
Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Overheard by: melissa
Female coworker, coughing: I didn't know if I got another STD or what… (pause) Would you like a cupcake? It's homemade!
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Burly custodial guy, spotting hand lotion in office break room: Oooh, jasmine! (puts some on his hands) The boys are going to be laughing at me today!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: calgon, take me away
Boss: You're out smoking again? I thought you were quitting?
Assistant: I start taking the Chantix tomorrow morning, smoke for a week and throw the cigarettes away and double the dose.
Boss: Okay, can I give you shit for it?
Assistant: All you want, I'll be a complete bitch and make your life hell.
Boss on intercom: Everyone, you have the next 2 months off: assistant is going to be a bigger bitch than usual.
Fountain Valley, California
Secretary #1: You know, purging…it's gross, but it works.
Secretary #2: Yeah, and it only takes a few weeks to work.
Secretary #3: Whatever it takes, I guess.
Atlanta, Georgia
Boss: These cookies are good. Tastes like there's Ex-lax in 'em.
Charleston, South Carolina
