Coworker #1: And I still had this stomach bug, but I'd just drank all this fruit punch, and my mom was calling me, and I made into the hallway before I puked fruit punch all over the wall, and I was like “I'm coming, mom!”
Coworker #2: Oh, god, how old were you?
Coworker #1: This was like six months ago.
Columbia, Missouri
CSR: Nancy had, like, a nervous breakdown after a phone call that lasted an hour and a half. I felt bad for her, but it was also kinda cool. It was like watching glass shatter.
Newton, Massachusetts
Co-Worker #1: Are you ok? You seem frazzled.
Co-Worker #2: Oh, I hit the ground running this morning, and things haven’t let up.
Co-Worker #1: You hit the ground? Did you hurt yourself?
1700 North Maitland Avenue
Maitland, Florida
Overheard by: Siege
Girl #1: I feel bad for that kid, Matt*.
Girl #2: Which one? That loud kid?
Girl #1: Well yeah, the loud kid, but he has Asperger's syndrome, so he kind of doesn't get it, you know?
Guy: I once had a roommate that thought he had Asperger's, and I was always like, “man, shut up. You just did too much coke again.”
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Boss: She’s just too crazy for me. She’s…what’s the word? Phonetic!
Associate: She sounds things out?
480 San Antonio
Mountain View, California
Office girl: Becky, do you have a tampon I could have? Sorry, but I'm dying here.
Pregnant office girl (staring at her): I'm pregnant.
Office girl: So?
Dallas, Texas
Marketer (to herself): You're not in my head today. What's wrong?
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Pediatrician to screaming addicted newborn: Oh, you poor thing, are you jonesin’ for some crack?
NICU
Jacksonville, Florida
Account exec #1: So, are you still taking calcium?
Account exec #2: Yeah, and I’m still fucking crazy.
289 Pilot Road
Las Vegas, Nevada
Bathroom patron #1: You're takin' another shit? What are you, sick or something?
Bathroom patron #2: Nah, man, it's healthy. You're supposed to be takin' seven to ten shits a day.
Manhattan, New York
