Banker #1: How do you file an old CD referral?
Banker #2: Well you submit it and cancel it and submit it and cancel it and repeat that 5 times, and then wash your hands…Oh, I thought you said OCD referral. Like obsessive-compul–
Banker #1: I get it.
1241 South Wabash Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Teddy
Cubicle rat: He's losing control of his bowels all over the place, his toe nails are long, he stinks and he's getting old. I think I need to put him down.
Cubicle neighbor: I hope you are talking about an animal.
Lansing, Michigan
Coworker to another: He was glowing like a pregnant woman!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: netdpb
Female co-worker: Yeah, these bruises on my legs? I wish I could say they were from S&M. Actually, I was just drunkenly stumbling around.
33 New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McN
Account Exec #1: Your hair looks short today. Did you wash it this morning?
Account Exec #2: Yeah, I contemplated not washing it, but I decided I should.
Account Exec #1: Friday isn’t a hair washing day.
Account Exec #2: Well, I didn’t wash it yesterday.
Account Exec #1: [Lucy] can go a couple of days without washing her hair.
Account Exec #2: A couple of days?
Account Exec #1: Well, it’s more or less a question of whether or not her scalp is sweaty and smelly.
171 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Office lady #1: I need to take my cat to the vet.
Office lady #2: Why?
Office lady #1: There's something wrong with his nipples. It's like he has boobs on his belly.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: choked on my energy drink
Co-worker #1: Who are you talking to?
Co-worker #2: Myself.
Co-worker #1: Are you getting any answers?
100 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker #1: And I still had this stomach bug, but I'd just drank all this fruit punch, and my mom was calling me, and I made into the hallway before I puked fruit punch all over the wall, and I was like “I'm coming, mom!”
Coworker #2: Oh, god, how old were you?
Coworker #1: This was like six months ago.
Columbia, Missouri
CSR: Nancy had, like, a nervous breakdown after a phone call that lasted an hour and a half. I felt bad for her, but it was also kinda cool. It was like watching glass shatter.
Newton, Massachusetts
Co-Worker #1: Are you ok? You seem frazzled.
Co-Worker #2: Oh, I hit the ground running this morning, and things haven’t let up.
Co-Worker #1: You hit the ground? Did you hurt yourself?
1700 North Maitland Avenue
Maitland, Florida
Overheard by: Siege
