Irate tenant on voicemail: I came home today, and someone was in my apartment…vacuuming…I feel so violated.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Irate tenant on voicemail: I came home today, and someone was in my apartment…vacuuming…I feel so violated.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Female co-worker: He gets all the good assignments! I had to spell. He gets to shoot people!
9th Street
Sheldon, Iowa
Five maintenance engineers stand staring at a window with rain pouring down on the inside of the glass.
Engineer: If we all knew about this, why didn’t we fix it?
6th and Sycamore
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Alice
Female employee: Man, I’m soo busy today. Why is everyone taking advantage of me?
Male employee: I dunno.
Female employee: Oh well, maybe I just let people take advantage of me. It’s just easier that way.
Male employee: Some advice: don’t ever say that in a bar.
Motorola, 1301 East Algonquin Road
Chicago, Illinois
Male customer: Well, we’re definitely interested. We’ll be back this week to make the purchase.
Sales chick: It was a pleasure to meet you. My name is Katie.
Female customer: Oh, Katie. We’ll remember that name!
Sales chick: Oh?
Female customer, whispering: Katie is the name of my “other” personality.
Sales chick: Oh?
Female customer, turning to male customer: Katie is not very nice, is she, darling?
Male customer: No, dear, she’s not.
Northridge, California
Overheard by: charlotte
Woman: Isn’t this the most fucking idiotic thing you’ve ever had to do in your life?
Senior VP: No, actually, which is really embarrassing.
120 West 106th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: George Feeney
Electrician: I think I may have made a mistake.
Owner of office: Ya think so? What gave it away, the flames?
528 Newtown Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mike
British employee: Well, this was supposed to be completed by now. It looks like it’s gone all cock-up.
American #1: What?
British employee: I’m sorry, do you not have that phrase here?
American #2: In America, you can’t say cock like that. I shouldn’t hear you say cock.
American #1: We say fuck. Fucked up.
British employee: Ok, how’s this: Fuck off.
1 Corporate Drive
Orangeburg, New York
Hostess: I don’t know why they’re getting married. They don’t even have kids!
45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Boss: Why didn’t you build those three displays last night?
Night guy: I couldn’t find the stuff to do it with.
Boss, going back and pointing to the only three pallets of stuff in the back room: This is the stuff you couldn’t find all night?
Night guy: You should have put in my note that I should look harder.
Albertson’s
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Bill
