Designer: Any cat lady with a sticker-printing machine… can make stamps.
Manhattan, New York
Designer: Any cat lady with a sticker-printing machine… can make stamps.
Manhattan, New York
Suit on cell: I’m going home and changing into shorts. It’s so hot out there I need to throw up.
Washington Mutual
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Disgruntled employee at table filled with others: I don't know what's gonna win the race: a heart attack, finding a new job, or getting laid off.
Blue Bell, Pennsylvania
Co-worker, complaining about his chapped lips: These chapped lips really suck big dick.
The Arboretum
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: El Gato
Owner: All I can do about it is bitch, so I'll bitch. Is that okay with you?
Clerk: We haven't found a way to stop you yet, so yeah, I guess so.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: BFS
Male worker on phone: Yeah, I always think your name is Victoria. I said, I always think your name is Victoria. No, I know that. I still think your name is Victoria.
1166 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Duncan
FBI agent: Excuse me, I’m an investigator for the FBI. I would like a copy of a student’s transcript.
Registrar: Ok. You need to pay a $7 transcript fee.
FBI agent: Uh. I don’t think I need to pay that. I’m an investigator for the FBI.
Registrar: Everybody has to pay for a transcript.
FBI agent: I think I will have to speak to your supervisor.
Registrar: I’m sorry, but that’s what the sign says.
John Jay College of Criminal Justice, 10th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Waiting next in line
Receptionist: Every time I hear that phone, it’s ringing!
3424 Peachtree Road NE
Atlanta, Georgia
HR assistant: So, Paul*, when are you gonna take a look at my thing? I’m bursting at the seams, right?
Paul the safety director: [laughing] I can’t look now — and will never look at your thing.
HR assistant: But, dang it! I need some space! Look at how my file cabinets are overflowing!!
Paul: HR isn’t the only department that needs filing space!
HR assistant: [sighs] I just need someone to look and to care!
4730 South Fort Apache
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Corporate Paralegal
News producer, holding a bachelorette party: Who the hell counts calories on a penis sucker?
Jackson, Mississippi
