Boss: Brandon*, no matter what you think, those pills will not make you grow three inches. Get back to work.
55th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Boss: Brandon*, no matter what you think, those pills will not make you grow three inches. Get back to work.
55th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Designer #1: I couldn’t walk for an hour after he finished with me the last time!
Designer #2: Uhhh…
Designer #1: My ankle guy!
Corporate Park Drive
Herndon, Virginia
Overheard by: the other other jen
Younger peon: Remember those Richard Scarry books with the animals all dressed up in–
Older peon: I haven’t read kids’ books since the second grade. Seriously.
Younger peon: What, your kids never read children’s books? What kind of parent are you?!
150 Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Manager #1: These mood swings are driving me crazy. Everyone in my house is afraid of me. They are all walking on eggshells.
Manager #2: Menopause rocks.
365 West Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: cubicle right outside
Boss: The thing I love about Fiona* is that you’ll offer her a stick and she’ll immediately grab the wrong end.
Chislehurst, Kent
England
Overheard by: Bob Cat
Office mate: What were you doing in my crotch?!
Office, 42nd Street
New York, New York
Man, to copier: There is paper in there! Stop being stupid! No, I will not add paper to tray four, I can tell you that right now. I will shoot someone before I add paper to tray four.
Berry College
Rome, Georgia
Office guy #1: Apparently we can’t have mechanical pencils anymore.
Office guy #2: Dammit! That supply czar is drunk with power.
1255 23rd Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Kristen
Female peon to another: My roommate wants me to do laundry, but I don’t know when I can do it. I’m too hung over on Saturday morning, and I have Bible study Sunday morning.
Studio City, California
Office chick #1: Don’t squeeze it! All the goo will come out!
Office chick #2, playing with stress ball: Why, what happened?
Office chick #1: I got a little too excited and squeezed it until it popped… That’s why I don’t hold babies…
Arlington, Virginia
