Doesn’t Seem to Matter Whose

Big boss to bigger boss, while on phone with car seller: How much are your car payments?
Bigger boss: An arm, a leg, and a testicle!

Worcester Road
Natick, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Meg

Posted on May 26, 2008
Body Parts, Bosses, Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Massachusetts, Money, On the phone, Questions

All Their Office Furniture Was Donated By Puritans

Assistant: My ass has taken enough punishment for one day.

Newcastle
Australia

Overheard by: At the next desk

Posted on May 20, 2008
Australia, Body Parts, Default, Employees, Gripes, Sensory Experiences, Violence

That’s a Mannequin, Sir

Manager: What seems to be the problem, sir?
Irate customer: Your employee isn’t arguing with me so I can report him to you.

Olympia Sports
Hyannis, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Bobby

Posted on May 12, 2008
Anger management, Customers, Default, Employees, Gripes, Massachusetts, Questions, Retail, Weirdness

Or You Get Cast in a Tide Commercial

Man diva: I mean, I cannot believe my little brother didn’t notice that stain for five hours! How can you think it’s water when it doesn’t dry for five hours?
Girl: Well maybe he wasn’t paying attention. It was your grandfather’s funeral.
Man diva: Ohmigod it’s like seven inches across the cuff!
Girl: I’m sure there’s somewhere you can still wear them?
Man diva: Yeah, if somebody has a stain party!

Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Dry cleaner no good

Posted on May 12, 2008
Clothes, Coworkers, Death, Default, Family, Gays and lesbians, Gripes, New York, Questions

Have You Had a Stroke?

Event planner: Oh, damn, this is terrible news. I just lost a snack set-up. First the breakfast burritos and now this! What’s next… Anything but the Swedish fish!

West 23rd Street
New York City, New York

Posted on May 6, 2008
Animals, Default, Feelings, Gripes, New York, Service, Wishes

Wish I Was a Sociopath and Didn’t Care

Receptionist, putting her coat on: So, I’ll see you guys on Monday, have a good weekend!
Coworkers, walking out of their offices: Uh… You know it’s only four o’clock, right?
[Silence.]Receptionist, removing coat: Dang, I was almost out the door too. Teaches me to say goodbye.

Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Brandy

Posted on May 5, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Nebraska, Receptionists, Time Management

Thus Following the Golden Rule.

Office drone: Ahhhh crap! I peed on the floor. If I knew I was going to pee on the floor today, I’d never have come to work.

From within a Stall in the Men’s Restroom, Office Building
Rochester, Minnesota

Posted on April 29, 2008
Cubicles, Default, Employees, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Minnesota, Restroom, Weirdness

The Workshop Required Them All to Crochet “Fags Is the Best Girlfriends” on Little Pillows

Black female coworker: Oooh, honey, I love me some fags. Fags is the best girlfriends.
White queer coworker: That’s ’cause we all want to be black women!
White female coworker: Can the rest of us get workplace diversity hours for listening to this shit?

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Giggling in my cube

Posted on April 24, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Gays and lesbians, Gripes, Offers and requests, Office Politics, Ohio, Questions, Race, Sexuality, Wishes

Better Than Last Year’s Price Club Fiasco

Diner in expensive restaurant, arguing over the bill for his family Christmas party: This wine is a lot cheaper in the grocery store!
Manager: And what would your in-laws think of you if you had the family Christmas party in isle three of a super Wal-Mart?

Illinios Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on April 16, 2008
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Default, Dumb Customers, Family, Gripes, Indiana, Money, Questions, Smart Employees

Dude, You Need to Quit Watching The L Word

Developer, talking about boss: Yeah, and I was giving him crap because he wouldn’t come out with us because his wife’s gay… I mean pregnant!

State & Water
Peoria, Illinois

Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…

Posted on April 4, 2008
Default, Dumb Employees, Family, Gossip, Gripes, Illinois, Places, Sexuality, Words

Gripes

Have You Had a Stroke?