Gripes

(co-worker #1 limps to copy machine)
Co-worker #2: Dude, what’s the matter with you?
Co-worker #1: I’m all messed up. But I’ll survive… eventually.

Sidney Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Skanky girl #1: I’m never wearing miniskirts again!
Skanky girl #2: Why is that?
Skanky girl #1: Well, every time I’m dancing in one, someone tries to sodomize me.
Skanky girl #2: Oh, I hate that–it’s so rude.

DMV
New York

Office worker, every time her phone rings: Fuck. What now?

Mississauga
Canadia

Fat coworker: Dude, all these re-orgs and manager changes really suck.
Skinny coworker: You know what else sucks? Polio.

Ontario Street
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: The loud one

Male payroll processor: If you want me to process your payroll, you have to put the time you came in and left.
Female coworker: I was out sick. Did you see that I used sick time?
Male payroll processor: Yeah! What’s your point?
Female coworker: I was out sick! I didn’t come in or leave!
Male payroll processor: Whatever! More work for me!

Speedway
Tucson, Arizona

Red-faced, furious manager, gesticulating at mildly messy sales rack: This is a disaster! Everyone put everything everywhere!

Plymouth, Michigan

Co-worker: You know, you should stay home when you’re sick. You ruined my whole weekend.
Sick co-worker: [Laughs.]Co-worker, enraged: I’m not kidding! You ruined my whole weekend! Stay home next time, damnit!

Jefferson Road
Cookeville, Tennessee

[Whistling can be heard through a door.]Co-worker: Where’s that goddamn whistling coming from? Hello?! Stop fucking whistling! Don’t you know there are people trying to be miserable here?!

Escanaba, Michigan

Overheard by: Auds

Coworker: With as much time as we spend pulling stuff out of our ass around here, it’s amazing they even give us chairs.

Fort Worth, Texas

Manager: I’ll never get promoted. I’m misunderestimated.
[manager leaves]HR Clerk: If “misunderestimated” is defined as crapping your pants at work, then he is misunderestimated.

Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing