Keeps Drinking the Water Cooler Dry

Code enforcer: I have an animal control complaint.
Animal control: Okay, what is it?
Code enforcer: There's a camel loose in our office!

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Lauren

Posted on August 12, 2009
Animals, Customers, Employees, Gripes, On the phone, Questions, Texas, Weirdness

You Have to Be Extra Careful When You're a Cyclops

Older female coworker: Yeah, you got to just put your face right under it.
Unfortunate-looking coworker, sighing: With my luck, I'd get it in my eye!

Quincy, Massachusetts

Overheard by: TGIF

Posted on April 28, 2009
Body Parts, Coworkers, Gripes, Massachusetts

…With Pony Rides

Coworker: I can't believe he only gave us a 20,000$ spending limit.
Boss: Why?
Coworker: Because my daughter's first birthday was more than that! How am I going to find a place for twenty people that cheap?

Oak Brook, Illinois

Posted on April 6, 2009
Bosses, Employees, Family, Gripes, Illinois, Money, Questions

How Will It Fit Those and Your Blood?

Cube dweller #1: Aw, man, you totally stole my favorite bowl! And I got that from the third floor kitchen and everything. Now I'll have to go all the way down there get a new one.
Cube dweller #2: Make sure there's enough room for your tears.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on February 2, 2009
Comebacks, Coworkers, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Minnesota

The Lost Stanza to This Land Is Your Land

Work bee, complaining about wife's: So I said, “Babe, we live in this country for two reasons, breakfast food and good toilet paper.”

Colorado

Overheard by: shaine

Posted on November 10, 2008
Colorado, Employees, Family, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks

Tiger Woods: You Ruined Golf for Me!

Lesbian #1: You should get a Subaru. Come on…join the club.
Lesbian #2: I don't really want a Subaru.
Angry straight coworker: Don't get a Subaru. Dude, you people take everything! First you take the rainbow. Now Subarus! What the fuck?

Richmond, California

Overheard by: B $