Gripes

Female coworker #1: Ohmigod, my plant's dead…
Female coworker #2: I can't believe you whined and complained for months about how you didn't get a “new hire plant” like everyone else, and when you get one… a week later it's dead because you don't water it.
Female coworker #3: I heard all these plants are responsibility tests. If you kill the plant, you're gone.
Boss over intercom to coworker #1: Report to my office immediately.
Female coworker #2: He knows about the plant.
Female coworker #1: Fuck.

McKinney, Texas

Salesman: Man, I hate it that my brain is so small that I get confused real easy.

Bonner Springs, Kansas

Female CSR #1: I'd rather be a prostitute than work here another minute.
Female CSR #2: I'm thinking more along the lines of being gang-raped by midgets.

Call Center
Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: hear no evil

Cube rat #1: Carol! You're back! How was your vacation?
Cube rat #2: It was good, but it went by way too fast, and now I'm back to the bump and grind.

Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: LMAO

Taxi dispatcher: Where to, miss?
Girl on cell: What?
Dispatcher: Where do you want to go?
Girl on cell, impatiently: I need to go to Huntington. (goes back to phone conversation)
Dispatcher: Excuse me miss, but whereabouts in Huntington?
Girl on cell, annoyed: What do you mean, whereabouts?

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Morning Glory

CFO, to no one in particular: What kind of rinky dink place is this?

Kansas City, Missouri

Analyst to another, about leftovers from office picnic: Did you grab your meat? Cause if you didn't, you're SOL.

Arnold, Missouri

Boss to office: Listen up, everyone. Let's just pick a design and not circle-jerk around the issue anymore.

Manhattan, New York

Man to friend: Wait, they're charging us for stripping?

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Employee: This is going to make me crazy. Why do they keep submitting these requests?
Manager: Seriously, I'm not in the mood today. You are going to get me all riled up.
Employee: I know. I scream every week in my therapy session.
Manager: About this?
Employee: No.

San Francisco, California