Guest: So, do you work here?
Bar Manager: No.
(guest walks away)
Bar manager to bartender: If she had asked if I were employed here, I would have said yes.
Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
Guest: So, do you work here?
Bar Manager: No.
(guest walks away)
Bar manager to bartender: If she had asked if I were employed here, I would have said yes.
Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
Cube dweller #1: You know when you go to put your hand on it, and it's not there?
Cube dweller #2: I hate it when that happens…
Leeds
England
Secretary: I waste so much time trying to make it clear and succinct, when on the phone I can just say, “send me this, I need it.” Honestly, I kick and scream when I have no other choice but to use the internet!
Cheerful academic, placatingly: Well, it's great for communicating with Rome and London!
Manhattan, New York
Frustrated colleague: We've got to stop using hookers!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Disgruntled middle aged CSR, answering phone: Hello. (pause) Oh, just at this stupid meaningless job. How are you?
Aliso Viejo, California
Account manager: I don't mean to sound negative, but this is a fucking pain in the ass.
Guelph
Canadia
PMSing office worker: I'm in such a bad mood. I'm bloated and eating everything in sight. It's like, “just bleed, dammit!”
Sympathetic coworker #1: I started this morning, so you should be okay soon.
Sympathetic coworker #2: I started yesterday.
Only male in the office: Fuck me.
Norman, Oklahoma
Manager on the phone: I'm carrying the shoulders of five people on my back.
Pomona, California
Overheard by: Rather confused
