Employee: I wanted to know where the line for disgruntled employees starts.
HR Secretary: Right behind me.
500 Federal Road
Brookfield, Connecticut
Employee: I wanted to know where the line for disgruntled employees starts.
HR Secretary: Right behind me.
500 Federal Road
Brookfield, Connecticut
Female employee: I have to wear shoes with heels because it’s seen as “professional.”
Male employee: You may as well be wearing a burkha.
11 W. 53rd Street
New York, NY
VP: It’s not working. I can’t get it up. I can’t get it up.
CEO: They make a pill for that now, you know.
28 Crescent Street
Middletown, Connecticut
Guy #1: So my dad was going to complain that they didn’t give him his grievance pay.
Guy #2: What’s grievance pay?
Guy #1: Well, you know when a member of your family dies? You get
grievance pay so that you can have the day of the funeral off and the day after. My dad’s pissed ‘cos they won’t give him his grievance pay.
Guy #2: Why won’t they pay him?
Guy #1: Because they said his nana’s not part of his intermediate
family.
153 Campbell Street
Bowen Hills, Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Murad
Intercom: This is an announcement from the building fire safety department; it is just a test. If you could not hear this message, please contact the fire warden. Thanks for your attention.
1221 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Office manager: Yeah, technically I’m supposed to be the one in charge of organizing everyone to evacuate if there is a fire. But…if this were the real thing, it’s every man for himself.
Co-worker: That’s horrible.
Office manager: The people I feel worst for are the handicapped. They have to find someone to help them out of the building…and I just don’t know who would do that.
3535 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Co-worker: And I am not exaggerating, but my dog literally chewed my brush up into 75 million pieces.
6600 Campus Circle Drive E
Irving, Texas
Woman #1: So I went to Filene’s Basement last night, and I was–literally–raped, I spent so much money, got a bunch of stuff.
Woman #2: Ooh, what did you get?
24 North Street
Pittsfield, Massachusetts
Guy #1: After I’m through with her, she’ll be walking bowlegged for a week!
Guy #2: Is she going to be helping you with the construction job?
Guy #1: Do you even know what I’m talking about? Jeez, you gotta grow up!
2121 Ala Wai Boulevard
Honolulu, Hawaii
Secretary #1: What’s the problem?
Secretary #2: Oh…the gathering darkness.
105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Danielle Balsamo
Boss: I just don’t think that Gilligan’s Island was appropriate theme for the company picnic. Do they want us to think we are shipwrecked here?
2350 N. Kenmore Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
A handicapped client has had to be restrained for assaulting a staff.
Co-worker #1: Your behaviour was completely out of line. You hit me, tried to bite me and pissed all over my leg. How would you like it if I pissed on you if I was angry at you?
Client: I wouldn’t like it.
Co-worker #1: Hey [Jake], when you are angry at your girlfriend, do you piss all over her and try to bite her?
Co-worker #2: No, I don’t. We talk things out and listen to each other. Why did you piss on us during the restraint?
Client: You guys were not listening to me.
2a Ormonde Avenue
St. Catharines, Ontario
Canadia
