Employee #1: Can you print the report for the meeting?
Employee #2: Should I print a copy for everyone who will be there?
Employee #1: No, one should be fine; all 15 of them can crowd around and look at it together.
2240 North 1st Street
San Jose, California
Liaison: I need you to look at this with your anal eye.
12447 SW 69th Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Office girl #1: What’s wrong?
Office girl #2, gagging: I was miming committing suicide by glue stick, and I accidentally inhaled.
N Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: The Temp
Event planner: Don't you think we should have background music?
Manager: That would be too expensive.
Event planner: What about just one person playing a harp?
Manager: Do you know someone?
Event planner: Yeah. I know a harpoonist.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Tim
Guy #1: She was hurt pretty bad in a car wreck a few years ago. She told me she hurt her knee, her back, and her brain.
Guy #2: Wait… So you have been pursuing a girl that has brain damage?
Guy #1: Hey, her vagina works.
571 South Floyd Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Boss: Is that Amazon?
Office manager, answering phone: No, it was recording.
Boss, interrupting again: Was it Amazon?
Office manger: No, it was a recording.
Boss: You sure?
Office manger: Yes. It was silent and beeped and started the recording.
Boss: I thought it was Amazon. [Phone rings again] Is that Amazon?
Office manger: Yes, I’m on hold.
Boss: Maybe you should talk to them.
Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Manager: Does anyone else hear an ice cream truck?
Office: …
Manager: I need a vacation so bad.
625 Second Street
San Francisco, California
Coworker: They're from Canada… Oh, no, they're not from Canada, they're from Portland. Same difference.
Columbus, Ohio
Co-worker #1: So do you think the developers can hit this target?
Co-worker #2: I mean the bar is so low how can they not?
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I suppose even people in the Special Olympics can make it over this one.
10866 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Man: It's green!
Woman: It's blue.
Man: You know men are color blind.
Woman: Not *real* men:
Man: The big ones are!
Penn Plaza
New York City, New York
Overheard by: That's what she said
