Secretary: I love this new water bottle I got. It holds all the water you need for a full day. The problem is that when I drink out of it, I look like a hamster.
401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee
Secretary: I love this new water bottle I got. It holds all the water you need for a full day. The problem is that when I drink out of it, I look like a hamster.
401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee
Co-worker on phone: …So if that wasn’t enough, she signs the email
“LOL”. Now you can’t tell me that wasn’t completely obnoxious…Yeah. Lots of luck…Oh. But, still…
1236 Shannon Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana
IT Guy #1: Why didn’t the janitor take my empty computer boxes?
IT Guy #2: Did you put a sign on it for the guy to haul it away?
IT Guy #1: Yeah, it says “junk”.
IT Guy #2: Dude, it should say “trash”.
500 Eldorado Boulevard
Broomfield, Colorado
Suit #1: So did you get a chance to pull up yesterday’s numbers?
Suit #2: Nope…in all honesty I have been walking around holding a baseball all morning.
601 Congress Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Project Leader: We are anticipating problems we haven’t anticipated before.
4820 150th Avenue NE
Redmond, Washington
Co-worker #1: Come on, we need to go.
Co-worker #2: Hold on, my wife just called and asked me to call the
cable guy to cancel his appointment.
Co-worker #1: Why couldn’t she call him herself?
Co-worker #2: Dude, she’s at work.
408 C Street NE
Washington, DC
Worker #1: You know how you have stamps that say “faxed?”
Worker #2: Yeah.
Worker #1: Do you have one that says “E-mailed?”
420 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker: Would you like a donut?
Enormous woman: No, thank you.
Co-worker: Why not? Are you on a diet or something?
Enormous woman: Actually, yes, I am on a diet. I am going on vacation to Hawaii at the end of the month and I have only six more pounds to lose until I reach my goal! I want to take a helicopter ride over Kilauea, but the helicopter company charges $100 more if you weigh more than 200 pounds. Hope they don’t weigh me on the spot since I am not sure I will be less than 200 pounds unless it’s in the morning, after I’ve had a pee, and I’m nude…Does anyone have any topics they’d like to add to the agenda for today?
Manager: Um…yeah, I do, but give me a minute.
560 McCarthy Boulevard
Milpitas, California
Overheard by: CW Slave
Boss: Whoever thought shit and cinnamon smelled good together?
634 126th Street
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Co-worker: Ideally everything would be perfect.
9630 S. Norwalk Boulevard
Santa Fe Springs, California
Overheard by: Josh Bartel
