Sales guy: …and then five years later, I’m into benchmarking.
Legal: That’s funny, when you said “Benchmarking” I heard “Bitchmarking”…sorry, ladies.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Sales guy: …and then five years later, I’m into benchmarking.
Legal: That’s funny, when you said “Benchmarking” I heard “Bitchmarking”…sorry, ladies.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker #1: Hey. Hey! Laura, c’mere, I need your help.
Laura: What?
Coworker #3 (passing by): What are you guys doing?
Laura: Unzipping her. She gets stuck in her coat, like, twice a day, and I keep having to get her out of it.
1800 Connecticut Ave, NW
Washington, DC
Suit #1: So it’s a formalization of a process management control?
Suit #2: Well, I wouldn’t say “control” but yes.
200 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Businesslady: Are there places to order in?
Networking Guy: I’ve got a whole book of places to order in from.
Businesslady: How long does it take?
Networking Guy: How long is a piece of string?
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker #1: I think I’m going to start The Arkansas Bachelor.
Coworker #2: Oh yeah? Women will be tripping all over themselves trying to get away from that.
Coworker #1: It’ll be better than just The Bachelor. Forget roses, I’d say, “Would you accept this Busch Light, Maggie Lou?”.
3685 Country Club
Fort Smith, Arkansas
Big Shot: Well, damn, the printer really is low on toner. I’m not gonna strain my eyes to read this junk. Now I have to reprint the whole document. Guess that’s my reward for trying to take work home over the weekend!
Peon: So, do you want me to recycle the faded pages?
Big Shot: What? No, just toss it.
3301 Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Counselor #1: Why is it that we didn’t get a snow day today? For Christ’s sake there’s only five kids here!
Counselor #2: Because this place is a conspiracy, like the one in Hollywood.
2375 E. 23rd Street
Brooklyn, New York
Operator: Am I turning the conference over to you?
CEO: Yes.
Operator: And what title would you like to be associated with your name?
CEO: Supreme Commander.
Engineer: She thinks he’s kidding.
Operator: So what title would you really like?
CEO: Supreme Commander.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Engineer #1: Congratulations, I heard you got married this week.
Engineer #2: Thanks, man. It was one of the best days of my life.
Engineer #1: Aren’t you African though? I didn’t know African people got married.
6575 The Corners Pkwy
Norcross, Georgia
A memo went out stating the upstairs bathrooms will be shut down for one week to redo the walls, sinks and plumbing. An executive tries to barge in anyway.
Union guy: You can’t go in there.
Executive: Don’t you know who I am?
450 W. 33rd Street
New York, NY
