Male peon: Oh, I love this song!
Lady peon: Really, what is it?
Male peon: Uh… Music…
178 Middle Street
Portland, Oregon
Male peon: Oh, I love this song!
Lady peon: Really, what is it?
Male peon: Uh… Music…
178 Middle Street
Portland, Oregon
Intercom: This is an announcement: check your phones to see if they have a dial tone. If they don’t, call Administration and let them know.
Valhalla, New York
Overheard by: jb
Plumber: What do I have to do to install gas lines?
Admin: You have to take our class and enroll in a drug and alcohol testing program.
Plumber: You mean I gotta be on drugs to install gas lines?
Admin: No, sir, you have to NOT be on drugs.
Plumber: Oh, OK. I can do that.
5461 Southwyck Boulevard
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: Emily
Dental assistant: What was the name of that movie? The one about Pearl Harbor? You know, the one where they bomb Pearl Harbor?
Dentist: Um, I think it was called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: No, it was a romantic movie… Where they bomb Pearl Harbor.
Dentist: Yeah, it's called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: Oh, yeah! Pearl Harbor!
Dental Office
The Bronx, New York
Boss to IT guy, looking at server cabinet: I noticed you cleaned it up when you put the new server in–it looks a lot better. Wait, where's the new server?
IT guy, pointing at small-form tower: Oh, it's there, tiny little thing, but it does the job.
Boss: Are you sure that's a server? It looks like a UPS to me.
IT guy: Uhhhh…
Caboolture
Australia
Customer completing an application form on phone: Would my sister be a sibling to me?
Washington, DC
E-consultant, explaining website program to potential customer: It’s clear as night!
Smithtown Bypass
Smithtown, New York
Tech Lead: Our requirements are in terms of bells and whistles at this point, not actual business functionality.
1370 Timberlake Manor Parkway
Chesterfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Jonathan Willis
Employee #1: So this presentation on customer service was just so stupid! The speaker kept saying that to diffuse tense situations, you should reiterate back to the customer why they're upset to show that you understand their point of view! I totally disagree. I hate when that happens! That's just so dumb.
Employee #2: So if I understand this correctly, Alan*, you think it's a bad idea to summarize why a customer is unhappy and restate that back to them.
Employee #1: Yes, exactly!
Atlanta, Georgia
Boss: I need you to email this to [Kevin].
Assistant: No problem, I have the electronic version right here. I’ll email it out in a sec.
Boss: Great…Oh, and make sure my notes don’t show up when you send it out.
Assistant: Your notes?
Boss: Yeah, the notes I wrote there in the margins.
Assistant: Um, don’t worry. They won’t.
Boss: Great, thanks.
Assistant: Just fucking retire already…Jesus!
300 West Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
